Real World DC: Episode 4 Breakdown


Here's a tip, don't try and hit on a girl and her best friend at the same time. You aren't getting the three-some.

The Panda wasn’t so pimpin’ on this week’s episode of The Real World DC. We all know that his main goal in is to get laid- well I’ll tell ya that as another dude living in the area- it’s not the easiest task to accomplish. Of course it helps when you have a decent game, which he certainly does not.

Meanwhile Mike and Ashley were getting along and found something to bring them together: their love of god. Unfortunately a few d-bags at The Big Hunt caused an episode long fight that left me wondering how one could maintain anger over something so trite.

Let’s take a closer look.

Drama In DC

Pimpin’ Panda Gets A Few Lessons

It doesn’t take a public policy analyst to see that there are a lot of flaws in Andrew’s game. Besides the weirdness, animal headware, and awkward sayings; he goes right for the kill faster than a cheetah hunting prey in the African Serengeti.

But then again aren’t most guys like that?

Even I know how to unhook a bra... well I think I do...

Even I know how to unhook a bra... well I think I do...

Andrew apparently needs some help if he wants to land someone besides a fame-seeking drunk groupie. So his roommates decide to give him some tips. I learned along with him as the roommates dispensed some interesting tips such as buying a girl appetizers AND dinner and the correct way to unhook a bra.

Lucky for him he had his friends teach him that- I had to learn the hard way. It probably still takes me 5 minutes to figure that sucker out. I’ll master it. Someday.

So with his new-found knowledge Andrew ventures out for some field work and lands Allison Mead, a Georgetown Student who has been no-so-secretly dreading the day her encounter would air on MTV.

Why so much dread Alli (as she’s called on the show)? Andrew totally digs you- he thinks you possess everything he’s looking for in a girl:

Congrats Allison Mead, you are now Girl #2 for Andrew.

Congrats Allison Mead, you are now Girl #2 for Andrew.

“She has a high pitched voice that I like and she says ditzy things- these are the qualities I look for in a girl.”

Hmm I think we have to work on Andrew’s game and his taste in women.

After spending the night and resisting his advances, the two go out to a picnic lunch in Dupont. Not that bad of a date idea Pimpin’ Panda. So how did the date go?

Andrew: All the girls were interested this morning…

Alli: Why, what did they say?

Andrew: Do you really like her? And all that stuff…

Alli: What did you say?

Andrew: I played it cool.

Alli: Oh…My god…

Andrew: I told them I was in love with you…

Alli: Awkward…

Yes awkward indeed. This date didn’t go well at all. However Andrew doesn’t give up easy. He manages to invite her back over that night and she visits… with her cousin…

Ya things aren’t going well at all.

I hate it when I get stuck in the spooning zone...

I hate it when I get stuck in the spooning zone...

Andrew does manage to get some alone time with Alli (thanks to Emily sleeping upstairs for the night.) By the way, why didn’t Emily just shack up with her favorite man-to-hate/love Ty? Well unfortunately Alli once again plays the nice girl and doesn’t do anything with Andrew, much to his dismay.

Later on Andrew calls her up to get a “check your e-mail” request. In a rather lengthy e-mail she must of said something along the lines of, “look you are really weird but I liked the fact you were on TV so I thought I’d go along for awhile- but in the end you are still really weird so I don’t want to date you anymore. I really hope you don’t hate me.”

Sorry Allison, he probably hates you- also who breaks things off via e-mail, what are you 21? Wait a minute…

Andrew clearly has no sense of dating when he calls it a break-up. Sorry Andrew, you weren’t even Facebook official yet.

Mike And Ashley Have A Trite Fight

Trouble in paradise...

Trouble in paradise...

Everything was going so well for Mike and Ashley, they shared a little kiss early in the season, they both like god and think church is cool, what could go wrong?

The Big Hunt apparently.

The group gets heckled by bar patrons on a night out to the Dupont haunt, which immediately made me wonder if it happened the same time they ran into their biggest enemies on the blogger world. Bottom line was this: Ashley got really bitchy about the situation and Mike hates it when Ashley is a bitch, so he tried to smooth things out by being friendly to the hecklers, which Ashley didn’t enjoy.

So that sparked the fight which lasts the entire episode. While out at the Polo India Club, Mike calls Ashley a bitch when she gets mad when someone snaps a photo of them. This manages to fan the flames high enough for an argument in the kitchen where Ashley pulls out a woman’s secret weapon: tears.

“All my hostility for her melted away when I saw her cry, ” remarked Mike.  Eventually the two talk it out and make-up with a joint confessional.

Here’s my take: I understand Ashley’s anger towards the DC locals, the city knew all about the show filming and they were easy targets where ever they went. However I also understand Mike’s point of trying to be nice and not have Ashley give the cast a bad image. However I’ll side more with Mike on this one. If I was in this situation I’d take the high road and be nice.

Memorable Quotes

Andrew asking the same question I ask everyday: “What’s up with DC? Guy can’t get some lovin’?”

Josh upon walking into Nellie’s Sports Bar: “We walked into the lion’s den without even knowing it.”

Mike it’s public when you have sex on a boat: “I’m just trying to figure out it a Gondola is a public place”

Andrew on how it feels to not get any action: “I didn’t get to sleep once, I laid there thinking about my boner. I’m pisssed.”

Andrew on his move to get a girl to give it up: “I just kept poking her with it.”

Two Up


After the house acting pretty immaturely when Andrew brought home a girl, Emily was a great roommate in giving up the room for him and his date.


While he does have no game at all, it’s entertaining to see him try and land a girl. At the same time I’m also learning what NOT to do by watching him.

Two Down


She has drama queen written all over her. Like Mike, I don’t know how much more I can take.


While he gets points for teaching Andrew how to take off a bra and I side with him a little bit in the fight, I really will knock both him and Ashley down for getting into such a stupid fight in the first place.

Look I Know That Place!

Capitol Skyline Hotel: Home of their weekly summer pool parties, I always look at it when I am driving to Nationals Park for a game- and wonder how that place manage to attract so many people. I mean if you look at it from the outside it looks like it should be bombed out.

St. Luke’s Episcopal Church: Located on Church & 15th, it looks as if it will be the Sunday place of worship for Ashley and Mike. I think I walked in there once when I was lost looking for the Keegan Theatre.

The Big Hunt: I was disappointed when I heard the cast stopped by there this summer, expecting the cast to stick to swanky clubs; I didn’t think they would actually stop at decent local dives like Big Hunt.

Little would they know that Nellie's would become a RWDC regular destination.

Little would they know that Nellie's would become a RWDC regular destination.

Nellie’s Sports Bar
– “I like sports. I like bars,” says Andrew when wondering if the guys should redeem a mysteriously sent gift certificate to Nellies. Little did they know that they were walking into a gay bar. I almost did the exact same thing while trying to find a good sports bar. Their reaction as they walk in is half hilarious/half homophobic.

Rhino Bar: Is this going to get a plug every episode?

Sweetgreen: If I ever want a salad I guess I should stop by there, apparently the pita chips are awesome.

Russia House: Which one is it on Connecticut? The one with the Russian flag!

Polo India Club/Bistrot Du Coin: Ashley said that they were outside a club when she flipped over someone snapping a photo of them, looking at the video they were actually in between the Polo India Club and Bistrot Du Coin, which makes sense since it’s up the street from The Russia House.

Final Word

MTV you need to do a better job with your shameless corporate placement. I understand Subway must be a sponsor since they had subs waiting for them when the moved in. Also the Michael Phelps ad I saw during the breaks was somewhat entertaining. However nothing says shameless like gratuitous logo shots:

They walk in...

They walk in...

They order food...

They order food...

And they leave...

And they leave...

I think I saw the sign the first time.

1 Comment so far

  1. Metblogs Round-Up: 2-10-10 | The Definitive Dmbosstone (pingback) on February 10th, 2010 @ 11:01 am

    […] Episode 4 […]

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