Did you really screw up with the gift you got your wife/husband/sister/brother/boss/secretary/mistress/masseur/milkman/gym buddy and now you need to make it right? Need a New Year’s gift for that special someone? Look no further.

From Craigslist:

GIANT HUGE 12 1/2 foot CHILE PEPPER “you never seen this” trade
This pepper is 12 1/2 foot long and 46in wide, sits on 4inx4in metal post, paints kind of faded. but you can paint. in annandale va seaweedbest@netscape.net 250 obo or trade for something ealse (sic)

Don’t say anything to them yet, but if it goes unclaimed long enough, this is what Wayan and his Butterbean are getting for their wedding gift from me.

He lost his pants, and then he lost his composure, but neither of those things got Roy Pearson $67 million. What it did get him was a sizable chunk legal fees, and, of course, the coveted spot as Metroblogging DC’s Grinch of the Year. Pearson, if you were living under a rock this summer, sued a local dry cleaners when they lost a pair of his pants. Normally, no giant thing. The problem here is that he sued for $67M. Yeah, with six zeroes. For a pair of his pants. Talk about your frivolous lawsuits…

Anyhow, Pantsgate turned into a national news story, and as the case went on, the more and more ridiculous things got, naturally. Pearson’s court case provided many moments of hilarity to the DC area, but the Dry Cleaners Shut Down this fall, as a result of all the legal travail. I can’t say I blame them, after that kind of harassment, I wouldn’t know what to do either, except close up shop and head home.

So, congratulations Roy Pearson for making a mockery of our courts, the entirety of the legal profession (which took some doing, I might add), and for reminding us that it doesn’t take much to become a giant flaming asshole. Congrats, you’re the Grinch of the Year. Vote totals are below the cut, for the curious.
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We don’t ask for much from these guys. All we want is for them to be cute, eat excess bamboo and maybe salute when we walk by, or at least look alive. Sleeping on the job is one thing, but it looks like somebody spiked this guy’s eggnog. I suppose if there’s ever a day to drink on the job it’s Christmas, so perhaps we should forgive little Butterstick.

For my lovely wife and me it’s the time-honored tradition of movies and Chinese take-out that will ensure that we live it up today. What are you doing to celebrate the holiday?

Well, it may not be as good as oysters for hitting it with that special someone, but some people apparently think dog poop is as good as an aphrodisiac. Check out this Craigslist ad, in which a woman wants to ask out the guy who fell in her dog’s freshly made crap pile. If that’s not fodder for some boot knocking, I don’t know what is.

I was walking with my dog when you slipped and fell directly onto the poopy pile that little Sammy just left. lol! I couldn’t believe it, and was too stunned to ask you out. Hit me up after you wash all that poop off your nice white sweater.

I hope it was a holiday sweater, at least, and not one of those Cosby-type get-ups. If Ms. Poopy Dog or Mr. Poopy Sweater reads this, please comment and let us know the outcome and whether it was truly a match made in heaven or simply a crappy encounter, as one might guess from how it started.

Thanks everyone for the great nominations for the 2007 Grinch of the Year! Here’s the promised poll, I’m sorry it’s late, but we’ll keep the voting up until Wednesday next. One vote per IP address, but if you get shut out or the poll doesn’t work, please put something in the Comments and we’ll do our best to make sure you’re counted.

With tickets for the first show gone almost before they went on sale, the 9:30 Club has said there will be a second show with the Pogues. This from their Concert Schedule: “3/9 Pogues tickets are sold out. Tickets for a second Pogues show will go on sale soon. Please email list_serve@930.com to receive exclusive info first.”

So, if you want to Shane and friends, it’s time to drop the 9:30 an email and get on their concert list and get ready to ACT FAST for the second show.

Christmas has apparently come early for DC this week… not only do we get our postmark back, but now we’re also getting a quarter. (Now Santa, about that Congressional representation we asked you for…)

DC was left out of the plans for the State Quarter program when it was established in 1998, and with the last state quarter set to be released next year, DC and the U.S. territories have finally been granted their own spot on the back of a quarter. Here’s the template for the quarter design; what do you want to see on it? Those of you with mad Photoshop skillz can submit your proposed design to the Metroblogging DC Flickr Pool.

Merry Christmas Washington DC. The Pogues will be at 9:30 club on March 9th. Tickets go on sale on Friday morning at 10am, and I couldn’t quite find a price anywhere, but I figure, dude, it’s the fucking Pogues, just pay your money and go to rock out.

If I can get tickets, I’ll be there.

[Update] As several commenters have pointed out, the original email from 9:30 said “Thursday, December 21,” which I interpreted as “December 21st” not “Thursday.” I’m really, really sorry if I caused anyone to think the sale was tomorrow, I made the wrong assumption from a bad, bad email, and as a result I don’t have tickets either.

This is why I fucking hate bad email marketing. Proofread, people.

I guess I’ll go to Craigslist…or maybe not.

Reading this Express article about Metro I-pod overflow reminded me of a story I wrote last year. Here’s a response to their article by way of an excerpt:

Music moves us in ways trains cannot. Thump thumping ear-buds drown out clickety-clacks while swooshing doors vomit suited lemmings onto poles of indifference. Garbled voices warn tourons of doors closing, babies squeal, children nag, the homeless hum. The sub-audible spillover of a thousand I-pods floats through the throng, passing well-toned legs so smooth, between jacketed shoulders brushing together slightly. The sound that isn’t. Unnoticed songs mingle silently, quietly fucking, to conceive – in static-charged air – new music: hybrid mixes that no one seems to hear. Save me.

A fire broke out in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building beside the White House this morning, apparently from bad wiring in a closet near the VP’s ceremonial office. The structure remains intact, firefighters have been on the scene, the fire is under control, and all building occupants have been evacuated. The EEOB has been undergoing some renovation work for “modernization” purposes; there’s no word on how this affects that process, but this may drive home how badly needed that modernization was.

More from DCist, WaPo, NBC4, WJLA, and WTOP. Predictably, comment threads on the news are full of Cheney conspiracy nuts/jokers. Spot the best ones.

From TIME Magazine, a history of White House fires.

(Photo courtesy jsmjr.)