Archive for October, 2007

Kz’s House of Talent Suckfest

On a Scale of Zero to Sucktacular, I would put Kz’s House of Talent near the top of that scale. Their “comedy contest” tonight at Floyd’s (the best description of Floyd’s is that it’s a TGI Fridays that’s had its soul sucked out) was the single biggest entertainment lie I’ve been told since they tried to pass off Baltimore as DC in this summer’s Die Hard. I was expecting a great slate of comedians. I didn’t make it past the Emcee.

For my $10, I got the world’s worst DJ, a sound system that didn’t work, strobe lights that made me wonder if we were in a bad rave, and two R&B “acts” that could only charitably told to find day jobs and keep them. I felt really bad for the “opener” on the night, Mike Blejer, who was really quite funny, when the crowd could hear him. Sadly, the guys running the sound system were either deaf or unable to notice that the entire crowd at Floyd’s was asking them to turn it up. The representative for KZ’s House of “Talent” foisted her acts on us without warning, despite the event being advertised as a comedy night. They were so bad, I thought about going to the bathroom to hang myself, or using my fork to put holes in my eardrums.

Putting Blejer, who won the Improv’s Comedy Showcase in September, on in front of a dead crowd who couldn’t hear him was the first strike. The second strike was the really shitty R&B acts. I came to see comedy, not bad music in entertaining LED-blinking glasses. The third was the emcee. I understand that comedy is about laughs. I understand that not everything a comedian says on stage is true and actually fact. But that’s no reason to get up there and bag on your girlfriend for a good solid ten minutes. You don’t have to go right for the “my girlfriend so fat…” jokes.

That’s when I found out that my friend who was performing hadn’t been given a performance order, and had to pay part of the cover charge, that’s when we bailed. Don’t go to Kz’s events. You’ll just be annoyed that you spent money for nothing.

With Friends Protectors like these, who needs Enemies Criminals?

“A D.C. police officer confessed in court today that, while responding to a false alarm at a Northeast Washington home in August, he swiped the owner’s credit card from a credenza while she was gone and tried to rack up thousands of dollars in charges.”

We’ve got enough problems in this town without the cops ending up as the bad guys. Apparently, the cop was also dumb enough to use his home phone as the number he called from to change her PIN, which was how he got caught. He used it at several area ATMs, on tape no less, so this was a pretty much slam-dunk case.

Between this guy and the questions being asked about the off-duty cops who shot that kid in the back in Southeast, one has to ask some serious questions about the MPD. Where the hell are you guys hiring?!

Porchless Petworth Eyesore

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse at the corner of Upshur Street and New Hampshire Avenue. That the Petworth Eyesore at 4143 New Hampshire Avenue NW couldn’t take it to that next level of ugly, it has.

Look at the Petworth Eyesore now. Notice anything missing? Like say a front porch?

Granted, the original porch wasn’t much to look at, but at least it was a porch so it matched the neighbourhood. Now the house, porchless, looks naked.

Here, take another look at the household degradation of a once majestic edifice. At this point, I only wish the contractor would go bankrupt and sell the house to a developer that would bulldoze and start new.

The house is well beyond saving now. And I’m not just talking about the porch, which was my last straw. Just look at the half-assed chimney. Now doesn’t that say “fire hazard” to you? It says melted vinyl siding and a housing code violation to me.

And maybe to the DCRA too. The Petworth eyesore trash is full of fresh PVC piping torn out to put a shower box in. Seems that the unlicensed plumber’s work wasn’t up to standards either.

Anybody got a sledgehammer, or better yet, a wrecking ball? I wanna set my own standards now.

Information superhighway robbery

Continuing my posting run of crap-I-saw-on-the-internet, Consumerist today has a post talking about a DC reader’s cellphone bill. They claim it’s a luxury tax, though considering that Fenty carries multiple cellular devices that seems not to jibe with his definition of “luxury.” A commenter on their thread says that it’s a straight up utility tax which would be 10% for residentials and 11% for commercial, however.

The only problem with that is that from what we see of the existing bill it would seem to be $60 in old charges, $30 in new charges and then that almost $9 fee… which ain’t 10% of $30 by a factor of 3. I don’t have an AT&T bill handy so I don’t know – do “usage charges” break out separate from basic fees? $60 in base fees plus $30 in usage could make that $90 taxable, making the 10% number work.

I’ll admit to getting a chuckle from one of their other commenters saying “People from DC should still be operating under the 20 year moratorium that denies them the right to complain about anything relating to local government as a result of re-electing a crack head like Marion Barry.”

Look! Up towards the sky!

If you’re not a regular Boing Boing reader you might not have seen this post linking to a Guardian video of Dutch magician Wouter Bijdendijk – in his stage persona of Ramana – supposedly levitating in front of the White House.

Nothing on WaPo about it, or at least no hits on Bijdendijk or Ramana, so it could be bogus. Well-assembled if it’s fake, however.

Motocycle Alley on M Street

On any other day but today, I am always amazed at the number and variety of motorcycles lined up on M Street NW just before Connecticut Avenue.

Like the motorcycle parking at McPherson Square, the M Street lot attracts all types of bikes, from crotch-rockets to scooterists. Enough kinetic sculptures to temp anyone to ride.

But I do wonder about motorcyclists on rainy days. What happens to them then? Is it back to the Metro or cars, do they get rides with others, or is precipitation a good excuse to go back to bed?

For me, in this weather, its the latter, no matter the beauty of the bike. Because, of course, its all about the hair.

Ready for More Rain?

radar20071024.gif The good news is that rain is likely through the week till Saturday. The bad news is that rain is likely through the week till Saturday.

The warmth of an oddly over-long October summer (not to be confused with The September that Never Ended) has finally given way to a slow-moving cold front coming up from the south, bringing much-needed rain to relieve the drought, and gray and gloomy days for the rest of the work-week. This may well be the front that finally ushers in Fall for real — but then that’s what we thought the last time the temperatures dropped.

So have an umbrella handy, and break out the light sweaters. If you haven’t gotten a flu shot yet, schedule it up — colder temperatures can mean lower immune resistance and more people crowding into indoor spaces where a cough or a sneeze is more likely to catch you. Wash hands often and don’t touch your nose or mouth before washing. Use an extra paper towel to open public restroom doors from the inside. Germs. They’re everywhere. Bring your own utensils to restaurants, too. Keep a strong alcohol-based hand sanitizer on you at all times. And wear tissue boxes on your feet. Yes, yes, that’ll keep those microbes away!

Ahem.

As always, Capital Weather is on top of things, and the NWS Northeast Radar Mosaic lets you obsessively keep track of precipitation as it moves up the coast.

Also a good time to stock up on hot chocolate. Heat will kill germs.

Code Pink Hands Get in Condi’s Face

Wonkette alerts us to a bloody-handed protester attempting to smear Condi Rice with fake blood just before a House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing today, only to be dragged off by security.

This immediately got me wondering whether the protester in question, named Desiree Farooz, is local. A quick search shows that she isn’t, as she was previously interviewed on SHALOMSALAAMPEACE as being bused in by Code Pink from Texas. Now we know what she was on that bus for.

This is where I nod my head to Wayan’s beat.

custom made from head to toe

Friend-of-MBDC Mike needs your help! He’s got a suit that needs to be altered by Saturday morning, preferably by a tailor in Northern Virginia (he lives in Falls Church), but DC is an option also if they’re especially fast. In a suit-oriented place like this, surely some of you have an opinion.

Anyone have a recommendation for a good tailor who can do a rush job? Mike is well aware that you can generally only have two out of “good, fast, and cheap.”

My personal favorite is the formalwear shop in Shirlington- they did a fantastic job on my wedding clothes.

Pantsgate Judge to Lose Bench?

Well, it’s really got to suck to be Roy Pearson. First, your pants gets lost, and you have to file a ridiculously wrong $54 million suit. Second, you go to trial, and lose, over that very same suit. Third, you may be out of a job entirely before long, thanks in now small part to your suit.

Never mind all the resources Pearson wasted in that trial, and all the man-hours of local media outfits associated with it, what about the guy’s job?

Should Pearson stay on the bench, or should he get run out of town on a rail?

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