Miracle-Making Mary Canonized at Rock Bottom

I asked our waitress at the Ballston Rock Bottom Brewery if she knew anything about canonization of saints in the Catholic Church. She said she didn’t, although we agreed that probably death was involved and we were pretty sure that the person had to perform some sort of miracle.

Later on, Mary assisted my lovely wife and me with the mysterious disappearance of my wife’s Mug Club card – that precious card on which they tally up the number of beers you have had and give you such prizes as pint glasses, hats and a free trip to a liver specialist after 300 beers. I am getting there but still have a few more to go.

Then Mary did the impossible. She looked up my wife’s information in the computer, added one beer to the total and presented her with a new card. There was a blinding light and a choir of angels as the new card, in spirit the same as the old one freshly raised from its grave, slipped into my wife’s wallet. So let it be written. So let it be done.

Thanks, Mary, for a wonderful experience this evening at Rock Bottom Brewery. And although you won’t need it, I’ll put in a good word for you with the Big G, should I reach the pearly gates before you do.

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