Listening to thieves

I’m sitting in Starbucks – having been chased out of my home, my first choice for a comfortable place to work and drink coffee – and twenty minutes ago I was amazed at how many people come here to conduct business.

Now I am amazed that apparently nobody comes here to conduct legitimate business. Maybe its legit in a legal sense but it’s business I would be ashamed to tell my mom I was in.

Listen, if you’re reading this and you don’t know it already, ALL MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING SYSTEMS ARE SCAMS. They are essentially envelope stuffing systems with more complexity. They are pyramid schemes that manage to stay on the right side of the law through a baloney dodge of having a legitimate product line in parallel with the nonsense that happens on the layer that does the recruiting.

If you’re not sure you understand how these things work well enough to identify them and not fall for them, here’s the simple test: ANY ’employment’ scheme that (a) promises you huge money easy and quick and (2) wants YOU to pay THEM up front is certainly designed to make money… for the people selling that material. You, on the other hand, will be pushed to attend paid seminars or buy materials to “help” you better sell and add people beneath you.

In the case of the scheme I had to listen to (hey thieves – INSIDE voices, dudes, INSIDE voices – your mark is 2 feet from you, those of us across the room don’t need to hear you), recognize that someone who spends ten minutes telling you they “can’t spend forty-five minutes answering your every question” is full of bull. That “Informational Session” they want you to come to is just setting you up to talk to the more experienced closer.

3 Comments so far

  1. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on March 26th, 2007 @ 5:00 pm

    Don, I told you my system was more of a toroid than a pyramid. Aren’t you interested in making some money and being financially independent?

    Seriously, these guys are scumbags. Rectal leeches.

  2. Paulo (unregistered) on March 26th, 2007 @ 6:27 pm

    Dean Van Druff’s “What’s wrong with MLM?” section is an important text of note to me when dealing with any company whose business is centered around a closed, multi-tiered pricing model in which members must pay far higher than retail value for products by simple virtue of their being lower on the chain than their recruiters, and in which getting more recruits via a high-pressure “boats and mansions” American Dream vision is of more value than the actual services and products themselves.

  3. darren (unregistered) on March 28th, 2007 @ 1:12 am

    Seriously, I thought I was the only one who saw those MLM creeps suckering some unsuspecting person at Starbucks. I see them all the time and I want to intervene when I see that shit. These creeps do it in Borders as well.

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