Ready for the Impending Wintry Doom of Death

Oh man am I excited. And prepared.

My freezer is, at least in bachelor terms, fully stocked.


I have a bag of overpriced pet-friendly salt for the piece of sidewalk I’m responsible for.

I’ve applied paw wax to my dog’s paw pads for when he walks on the pet-unfriendly salt the city uses. Don’t ask me if paw wax works or if it’s just another way of scamming dog owners.

I’ve watched the Channel 4 weather monkeys flipping out. When did the awful term “snow event” come into use?

I’ve watched coverage of people buying milk. It’s good the TV informed me that this was happening, otherwise how would I know? I wouldn’t know, I’d be left to speculate. I wish they’d interview me:

“What are you buying to get ready for the big storm?”

“Three Cheese Bagel Bites.”

“Anything else?”

“No, that’s all. It’s all I need.”

7 Comments so far

  1. IntangibleArts (unregistered) on February 12th, 2007 @ 10:03 am

    yeh…”snow event” is a good one; it has that meaningless-yet-doom-laden sound to it. Fox5 kept using the term “aftermath” following that 1″ dusting we got last week. Weenies.

  2. Tom Bridge (unregistered) on February 12th, 2007 @ 11:38 am

    I gotta say, snow hype in the DC area is just amazing. When I lived in Central Ohio, they’d only warn us of snow, then freak out when we were supposed to get 6+”, which was more than a lot of the local places could handle.

  3. Scott (unregistered) on February 12th, 2007 @ 1:19 pm

    I totally forgot about the impending doom and as of 7:00pm last night, I had a delivery from Safeway set for Wednesday evening. Not sure if their trucks have snow tires.

    Of course I could also walk the four blocks to the store.

  4. Wayan (unregistered) on February 12th, 2007 @ 5:22 pm

    You’re forgetting on major aspect of any guy’s storm emergency preparation: Beer!!!

  5. Rosemary (unregistered) on February 13th, 2007 @ 3:35 am

    I think about a year ago my dad and I were watching Fox 5 and the reporter said: “Conditions are getting dangerous out here. Make sure to maintain one car length between cars.”

    Nothing else has topped that yet.

  6. BaltimoreGal (unregistered) on February 13th, 2007 @ 10:59 am

    Looking at your supplies, I really hope your power doesn’t go out, my friend.

    You’d better make sure you have some matches & newspaper in case you have to heat your frozen food over an open flame!

  7. Marisa (unregistered) on February 13th, 2007 @ 12:41 pm

    Listening to people on television say “Snow Event” would give me a nervous tick.

    …I want to know what that thing in the left hand corner is. It looks like a vacuum packed sausage. Or maybe a stray bodily appendage that has been packed in plastic to prevent freezer burn.

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