Man, you people are boring

I already had an engagement to go see the Nats lose and Teddy get robbed one of 36 times, so I didn’t make it out to see Neil Gaiman speak last Friday. I’m disappointed in those of you who did, however – those damned New Yorkers already have an attitude of superiority over us, do we have to be duller even in book signings?

The list of things presented to Mr Gaiman to sign in NYC? “books, comics, a pair of breasts [female] and a bottletop [initials only]” In DC? “The only unusual thing I remember signing yesterday night was a lady’s red suede shoe.”

A shoe. Seriously? You couldn’t come up with some underwear? An hourglass? A copy of Joe Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces? Perhaps a wing, either left or right? Okay, a real live macaque monkey could have been hard to find (and hold still) but surely someone could have come up with a bent-over page.

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