It will probably surprise no one that I’d never been to an agricultural fair before I came to DC. Where I grew up, farms were rarified reserves for horses or trees. Rye Playland was where you went for fun rides and cotton candy. Never the twain did meet. But then I moved here and met a Pennsylvanian well-schooled in ag fair fun, and it all changed.

Wait a minute. Something about that first sentence seems strange, eh? There are actually agricultural fairs in DC? Yes indeed, in our greater vicinity you can get your fill of dizzying rides, funnel cake, and award-wining squash that look like, ah, various anatomical features.

Take Montgomery County, whose annual agricultural fair began on August 11th and runs until the 19th. Not only can you get your fill of all the above carnival and agricultural delights, but you can also witness that most insane of rituals – the demolition derby. Watch as old wrecks are transformed into killing machines – engines roar, sparks fly, metal grinds metal – and the audience’s adrenaline rush is all very Crash.

So check it out this week (goat shows! cattle shows! horse shows! rabbit shows! monster truck pulls! milking shows!). I guarantee there’s something for everyone to enjoy. And if you can’t make it, never fear – I’m hitting the derby Friday night and will post photos of the burning rubber twisted metal wreckage for you to ogle.