International Masturbate-a-thon

Masturbatathon1.jpg The Masturbate-a-thon will be the first of it’s kind to be held by our frigid friends to the northeast over in the merry ol’ isle of Great Britain. It appears that this phenomenon was started in our very own United States back in 2000 to promote safe sex through self-gratification.

On August 5th, wankers and wankettes all over the U.K. will be banding together for the common cause of mutual self-gratification. If these wankers can last longer than the current world record of eight and a half hours, Americans everywhere will have to get some serious practice in for the 2007 event held annually in San Francisco. Now think about this, longer than eight and a half hours, that my friends, is some kind of staying power.

Although the British have often times been stereotyped as glacial, Channel 4 will be airing the event, which I’m sure would be reserved for pay-per-view channels only here in the U.S.

Not that I could ever imagine such a spin-off event being held here in D.C., but with these sex starved crazed politicians all over the shop, I’m sure D.C. would have a shot at bring the record to new heights.

9 Comments so far

  1. Marie (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 3:00 pm

    I’m sorry I thought I was on the DC Metro Blog…not a porn site. How classy… What does this even have to do with DC?

  2. Mik (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 8:16 pm

    Feel free to suggest a story m’dear, that’s what we have the suggestion box for.

  3. John (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 8:42 pm

    Agreed – this has nothing to do with DC life and content like this is not why I read this site. It’s also pretty foul and a good enough reason to not be bringing the site up b/c it’s not good content and it’s not appropriate for work.

    It’s also, Mik, not about giving story suggestions as to assert that if the readers don’t give suggestions then the authors can’t be responsible for what they write.

  4. Mik (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 9:03 pm

    We don’t censor our posts to what is and what isn’t appropriate to read at work. I’m not shirking responsibility for what I write, but if you don’t like what you read, perhaps instead of complaining, you should suggest a story, or something you’d like to see covered by metblogs.

    Personaly, once I was over the horror of such an event, I found it hilarious that something like this should exist and be televised. It’s not like I’m writing about BOUND, or even local slave auctions….

  5. FORMER DC RESIDENT (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 10:57 pm

    And I thought we were prudish in Boston!

  6. Tom Bridge (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 11:05 pm

    Personally, I think it would be hysterical to watch NBC 4 try to cover a masturbate-a-thon. I can just see I.J. Hudson announcing the whole thing…


    As for those who felt this story was “unacceptable”, I’d disagree. Again, you are always welcome to suggest stories via the link at right, and we hope that you will do so in the future.

  7. Heather (unregistered) on July 25th, 2006 @ 2:57 pm

    I really don’t care about this content being offensive to people or not – I’m not one to be easily offended. But the other commenters have a very valid point in that this post has absolutely NOTHING to do with DC. I’m a former Metroblogger from another city, and the rules as they were pretty clearly laid out to me stated that the ONLY rule is that the post needs to have something to do with DC…if this post sets the standard, then you can pretty much make a post about ANYTHING relevant to DC.

  8. verna (unregistered) on August 6th, 2006 @ 1:21 pm

    I loved it… but then, I’m a californian!

  9. Be_stress-free (unregistered) on August 7th, 2006 @ 2:22 pm

    Gosh, give the girl a break. She’s ENGLISH! She’s not from this country! but she does live in the DC area and thus, probably would also write something about baking pies in in the Sherwood Forest. Would readers still be offended? Was it just the masterbating part that was offensive? She did relate the topic to DC.

    I guess that the Masterbate-athon wouldn’t go over well here in DC after all, even with the sex crazed politicians, because there are still Puritans living in the District.

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