All The President’s Garbage-Men


Only in DC would this happen.

Local garbage-man Randy Hopkins discovered an intact, highly-detailed, 30-page security plan for George W. Bush’s visit to Florida in the trash!

The plan was found in the garbage, during trash collection, hours before Bush’s trip and contained detailed information about the President’s transportation time-tables, decoys vehicles, back-up vehicles, and protection. The report also contained the exact location of the nuclear “foot-ball” (the remote nuclear launch control box) for the entirety of the trip.

Garbage-man Hopkins, out of “fear of reprisal” from the Secret Service and the White House, reported the find immediately to Channel 9 news. Channel 9 didn’t report details of the security leak until after the President’s trip was safely completed.

Hopkins summed up the problem of finding highly sensitive intelligence in the garbage thusly:

“I saw locations and names and places where the President was going to be. I knew it was important. And it shouldn’t have been in a trash hole like this,” he said, “We’re going through a war, and if it would have fell into the wrong hands at the right time, it would have been something really messy for the President’s sake.”

2 Comments so far

  1. Tom Bridge (unregistered) on May 10th, 2006 @ 8:56 am

    I think the really fun part on this one is that he went to Channel 9 News instead of the Secret Service.

  2. Sweet (unregistered) on May 10th, 2006 @ 11:10 am

    I must say it’s nice to know we have such vigilant trash men looking out for our national security.

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