Every once in a while, one of our readers will ask a question that’s worth its own posts, and one of you have done just that. Our reader writers:

While out at a bar Saturday night, my girlfriend commented that there are a lot of short men in DC. Are there a lot of short men in DC? I asked her what constituted “short”? Our consensus was that anyone under 5’10” was short. She preferred her men to be 6′ – 6’2″, though she did say that sometimes height did not factor into her decision on whether to go out with a height-challenged guy if he made her laugh and seemed smarter than the average doorknob. Are there any official stats on the average height in men who live in the DC metro area? Just today, out of 4 men in the elevator, 2 guys were definitely about my height (I’m 5’6″), one was 6’+ and the other was in between my height and the tallest guy. What do you guys think?

What is short, exactly, DC? Does DC have a preponderance of short guys? Better still, If so, do they flock to DC as part of some Napoleonic Complex to gather power to make up for their stature? Metblogs is a fairly tall crowd, with most of us coming in over the 5’10” line. Want to judge for yourself? We’ll be at Bar Pilar after work Friday, drinking mojitos, and mining for weekend blog product, and you’re welcome to scope us out for yourselves! Make sure to introduce yourself, I’ll be at the bar.

Nevermind that we still really don’t have a decent citywide plan for dealing with a major 9/11-sized crisis.

Ignore the fact that the District picks up most of the tab for security with regard to terrorist threats.

Completely gloss over the fact that the DC Metropolitan Police can’t even stop a group of hoods robbing tourists on the Mall.

Who here thinks that a 40% cut in Homeland Security Funding for DC is a good idea?

*crickets*

Thought so. Somewhere in all this, the District will have to make up another $31 million in order to keep next year’s security budget at this year’s level of funding. We can’t stop robberies by petty criminals and suddenly we’re supposed to be able to stop a terrorist attack? Seriously? Are you smoking crack? Er, no, not you Mister Mayor for Life, we know you are.

How the hell does this happy horse shit happen?

Apparently, the National Zoo is on fertility drugs. Between Baby Pandas, Baby Cheetahs, Baby Giraffes and all manner of other babies, the Zoo welcomed three new Sumatran Tiger Cubs last week. Like most DC families Zoo animals, the parents are split, with Soyono here in Washington and the father Rokan down in San Antonio. This is Soyono’s third litter of cubs, her previous four progeny are now in other zoos across the United States.

Am I the only one who wonders how all that happens? Is there some giant zookeeper poker game that happens somewhere? I can just see how that would play out…
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When all else fails in this world, people find the most bizarre ways to protest. Hunger Strikes. Clothing Strikes. Striking Strikes. Saturday, though, one of the more bizarre protests I’ve heard of is going to take place across from the Supreme Court. Faith and Action Ministries is going to unveil an illegal monument to the Ten Commandments.

Weighing in at 850 pounds, the granite copy of the ten commandments will be visible to the Supreme Court building. Of course, I can’t decide which is funnier: that this will be illegal, or that the guy could be arrested for putting a stone on his front lawn. Perhaps someone else can tell me?

Today is the anniversary of the 1986 Judas Priest Capital Centre concert that was immortalized in the documentary Heavy Metal Parking Lot (www.heavymetalparkinglot.com). John Heyn and Jeff Krulik’s 16 minute video of Judas Priest fans tailgating perfectly captured the heavy metal zeitgeist of the mid 80s. The documentary made the rounds at local film festivals before bootlegs made it a cult classic.

Heyn and Krulik’s idea of filming teenagers tailgating before a rock concert became the PARKING LOT ODYSSEY, taking them to Harry Potter book signings, a Neil Diamond concert and even a short-lived cable series. But it all started with a two guys from PG County with some video equipment in Capital Centre parking lot. Recently, I interviewed Krulik, now a freelance/independent tv/video producer, about Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Heyn also contributed to a few answers and provided the images in this article.

Q: What was the inspiration for Heavy Metal Parking Lot? Were you guys Judas Priest fans?
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The Swelter is here.

I could tell when I got out of bed this morning it was going to be a long day, hot and languorous. DC’s haze is late in coming this year, but its presence hasn’t been missed. Gone are those lovely Spring days with no humidity and a gentle breeze, and replacing them are these surly, uncomfortable days; days like your ex, the one who made you shift ever so slightly in your shoes when she talked.

Days like these are odes to St. Carrier, inventor of the air conditioner, and the only reason that DC is habitable today. I can only imagine this sort of heat in an 18th century context, with heavy woolen clothes, no air conditioning, and the best you could hope for was lightly chilled beer.

Welcome to the long swelter. According to CapitalWeather, we may been in for a summer much like 2002’s, which was one of the hottest on record. Here’s hoping we can avoid it. I remember some of those days in July of 2002, cooking on the Mall for Independence Day, and wondering just how much trouble I’d get in for going swimming in the reflecting pool.

wet and wanting

…to impint your hands, your feet, or write your name. Do not create you own walk of fame.

Do not do it. No, don’t. Its concrete, its public, it will be there for years, and you will look the fool.

Then again, who would know? Its only one sidewalk panel. It would dry quickly. I would be gone, and yet…

…famous.

Although days like yesterday start my annual three-month mantra of why I need to move out of the DC area and to, oh, say, Alaska, I do enjoy the warm weather and being outside to play some games and hang out with friends. I was with heaps of friends yesterday at a massive barbeque at Lake Fairfax Park in Reston and we had a blast. Volleyball, soccer, frisbee, you name it people were playing. It was, however, completely shade-less, minus the few trees that lined the area of the park we had along the edges. Needless to say I’m sporting my typically beginning of summer sunburn although it’s not too bad.

It happens every year, though, after the first hot weekend in DC that inevitably people are walking around the office with sizzled necks, backs and arms – like the poor girl next to my office that everyone keeps walking by and asking if she’s okay. She’s a good sport, but she’s got to be miserable. I’ve counted about 7 miserable sun-burned fellows already, not including myself.

One of these destructive years I’ll learn to use sunscreen…

Manolo the Shoeblogger (not to be confused with Manolo Blahnik) has a weekly column in the Express. Last week’s was especially full of wisdom on the topic of summer in DC:

It is not the secret that the summer in the District of the Columbia, it can be unpleasant. The humidity and the heat they are oppressive, and the mosquitos they are as thick and as importuning as the candidates asking for the contributions.

It is this latter fact which always makes the Manolo give thanks to the person who invented the electronic zapper of the bugs. This clever device it kills the pests while the electric blue sparks provide us with hours of joyful entertainment.

If only the zapper it could be produced in the extra-strength congressperson size, then this city of Washington, truly it would be the Garden of Eden.

Garden of Eden, indeed.

Scientology @ Ballston

Are you uptight this holiday weekend? Do pool parties and BBQ’s with Mom stress you out?

Then take heart and take the handy Scientology stress test at the Ballston Metro station.

No word if you get a free Dianetics book or if you’ll be jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch in a few years.