No. Not the President.

No, Dick Cheney’s not there either. Karl Rove’s on vacation in Tibet working on his political zen.

Okay, look, it’s not someone who works there, I promise.

Some guy threw a package onto the North Lawn of the White House and caused the Secret Service to go from ultra-prickly to really effing paranoid until they caught the guy and dragged him off in cuffs. It is, however, safe to go near the White House again. Just not too near.