Mascot Horror: Is Screech Really That Bad?
The gang over at Deadspin is bagging on Screech pretty hard today. Sure, our mascot might be better suited to a bizarro children’s show written by Hunter S. Thompson, but at least he’s ours, right?
Right?
*crickets*
Right?
Okay, so yeah, Screech sucks, but what should we do about it? Should we turn him into the modern day San Diego Chicken and have him travel with the team and harass mascots and umpires? Turn him into troubled teen Screech? No, you’re thinking about Saved By the Bell. Stop that.
My only issue with Screech is… why? Why a bird? Let’s shitcan the traditional must-be-an-animal belief and put a dude in a suit that looks like the Bill heading up to Capitol Hill, yeah yeah, he’s just a bill.
From Schoolhouse Rock, of course. Who cares if only those of us who are currently 31-38 will really get it! At least it would be somewhat locally topical, as opposed to the unidentifiable special of bird that has nothing to do with the District.
i’m with don … that would be AWESOME!
Don, that’s an awesome idea.
I smell a grass-roots campaign….
As I think about it, we should have three mascots. Why limit ourselves to one? One for each branch of government! A Judge, A Senator and a President and they could do stooges kinds of yuk-yuk stuff – just like the real thing! Or maybe just a big diamond-shaped mascot that about 20% of the way into the game we have a big Virginia-shaped mascot run out and rip the lower left quadrant off of and stick on itself.
No matter what it is, we need to add to the in-game activities a part where all the other mascots are polled on an issue and then the Nats mascot is told it doesn’t get to vote.
No no no! I love that big fat birds! I love all birds! I have a bird here at home (a pet)!
So of course I love the mascot of The Nationals – he is wonderful! I want to meet him, and squeeze him! :)