Dear Papa Johns

So, when it comes to pizza, I’m a little screwed in terms of delivery area. Listrani’s? North Arlington and DC only. Atlantis? Pick up only. Vace? Pick up only. So, I’m forced to go to my old stand by, Papa John’s. With a great online ordering tool, I don’t even have to call, I just pop online and go. So tonight, laid up with back spasms, and with nothing in the house for preparation, I fired up Safari and headed for the online pizza delivery site.

It’s now almost an hour and a half later.

I received my confirmation at 7:15 tonight, and here I sit at quarter to nine, hungry and angry. Papa John’s help line has been of no use, first hanging up on me, then putting me on hold for well over 10 minutes. All I wanted was pizza, all I’ve gotten is aggravation. Thanks a lot. So much for a good standby.

Also, having your specials as part of the hold message? Less than helpful. Especially to someone whose pizza is later than hell.

[Update] Without further explanation, I received a return call that said they couldn’t contact the store and that my pizza wasn’t coming. Thanks Papa Johns, for 90 minutes of waiting, and no pizza.

[Update 2] Email arrives reading, in part:

Dear Valued Papa John’s Online Customer,

We have been trying to contact you via phone regarding your recent Online Order, however, we have been unable to reach you.

Unfortunately, we will be unable to process your order at this time. Please feel free to contact your local restaurant or call our Customer Service hotline

Thanks for making it look like my fault, assholes.

[Update 3] Pizza arrived. Barely warm. At 9:20. You’re fired, Papa Johns.

7 Comments so far

  1. Christian (unregistered) on October 3rd, 2005 @ 9:43 pm

    Bastards. But really, what’s so wrong with carry out? That’s where you get all the killer specials. And what area is this where you’re in pizza delivery blackout?

  2. JennB (unregistered) on October 3rd, 2005 @ 9:57 pm

    We order from Papa John’s at my office sometimes. A couple of times, they’ve gone up to the floor above us to deliver, then left when they were told they were in the wrong place. They don’t even call to tell us; they wait until we call and ask where they are.

  3. Tom Bridge (unregistered) on October 4th, 2005 @ 7:33 am

    There’s nothing wrong with carry out, Christian, it’s just that with my back out, I’m not highly inclined to get up off the couch and endure the searing pain of my back’s revolt unless I absolutely gotta. I’m down in Fairlington, the tip of South Arlington before it becomes Alexandria City about four blocks from here. There’s a pizza hut, but who really wants pizza hut?

  4. Chris (unregistered) on October 4th, 2005 @ 10:24 am

    Screw Papa John’s. I mean, skuhREW them.

    I used to work in the National Press Building and had to be there late sometimes, so pizza would occasionally get ordered. But Papa John’s reliably pissed me off.

    1. Online ordering never worked. They were 0-3. (Don’t ask why I tried three times; I’m a slow learner sometimes.)
    2. Stores would argue with me about which one of them served 14th & F. (I mean, a friggin’ block and a half from the friggin’ White House should not be a friggin’ friggin’ Pizza Delivery Black Hole, y’know?)
    3. Said stores were consisently surly. (Hell, I used to work in a pizza shop when I was a teen; well do I know the sorts of impatient wankers who call up and make a pizza-order-taker’s life hell. I am, as a matter of both policy and reflex, conditioned to be supernice to pizza places when I call them up. I gave them no cause to be upset. And yet these dudes were WANKERS.)
    4. Deliveries never took less than 90 minutes.
    5. Once, a driver called from his cell phone to insist that I come down to the street and pick up the friggin’ pizza. (No buddy, it’s called “delivery.” If I had time to go fetch food myself, I would have; I’m not lazy, I’m BUSY. This is why I did not tip you.)

    That final bit, obviously, was the last straw.

    One consolation: Due to botched online orders, Papa John’s sent me two voucher/coupon things for free large pizzas.

    Oh wait, they weren’t valid for delivery, though; pickup only. Also, how awesome is this: They don’t say so on the voucher. So by the time yr over the hurt and decide to give them another chance (I mean, hey, free pizza) the voucher has expired. And the expiration date is on tiny, tiny print.

    I could go on.

  5. Victoria (unregistered) on October 4th, 2005 @ 12:02 pm

    Since you are in Fairlington, you should try Monterey Pizza in Alexandria. Great delivery – pretty danged fast, and the pizza is excellent. And, I’ll bet they would deliver to you. Worth a try, at least .

  6. narni (unregistered) on October 4th, 2005 @ 1:26 pm

    i *love* pizza hut…

  7. M (unregistered) on October 4th, 2005 @ 2:31 pm

    Papa Johns won’t even deliver to my neck of the woods! I’m a block from the convention center. Its less than 2 miles from me to the one on U Street.

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