Metro needs toilets

It’s late, I’m drunk, and where in the hell is a bathroom in the Metro station? I mean, really, why aren’t there bathrooms down here. A man has to pee and the options are few on the Metro.

If I didn’t have to wait 17+ minutes for the next train, it wouldn’t be so bad. If the elevators weren’t so slow, I could escape faster. Yet, this is not my luck. I am here, in the Metro, stuck. And now, hopping on one foot with the need to pee!

Damn, I wish I were on a swank Thai train.

6 Comments so far

  1. Editor, The J.E.I. (unregistered) on August 28th, 2005 @ 11:20 pm

    Metro stations do have public restrooms, you have to ask an attendant (if you feel up to that). They then are supposed to escort you to the potty.

    The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration
    We not only deny the allegations, we deny the alligator.

  2. wayan (unregistered) on August 29th, 2005 @ 8:43 am

    Whoa! Really? Now that’s helpful info. I juist wonder how I could covince a station manager to leave their post for a tipsy rider. You ever get them to take you to the restroom?

  3. Editor, The J.E.I. (unregistered) on August 30th, 2005 @ 2:06 am

    I haven’t seen them first-hand, no– there was a thing on the local news about them, with the story angle being Metro has to let you use them, but Metro and employees do what they can to discourage it (remember, technically, Metro has to have working elevators in all underground and elevated stations, like that ever happens). They did find a few employees who would take the undercover “reporter” back in the service areas to the public potty.

    Curious, the only mention I could find on the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority site of restrooms is that they’re closed during evacuation emergencies. So you’d better go before you leave home.

    The Journal of Ephemeral Inspiration
    Nobody bother me either.

  4. Peter (unregistered) on August 30th, 2005 @ 6:32 pm

    It sounds like this WAS an evacuation emergency.

  5. DC1974 (unregistered) on August 31st, 2005 @ 1:18 pm

    Not that they’d be open anyway.

    After 9/11, the BART system in the SF Bay Area closed all their restrooms for security reasons. Only the stations that are above ground have ever had them reopen. But that goes in and out. Higher security alerts close them all again, systemwide.

    Oh and they smell to high heaven.

    Of course, SF has those great (if often a spot for junkies) self-cleaning pay toilets ($.25!).

    That’s what DC needs.

  6. Truth (unregistered) on September 22nd, 2005 @ 4:23 pm


    Nearly half of Metro station managers are denying riders access to restrooms despite an agreement reached last year to open facilities to the public, according to a recent survey being distributed by the American Restroom Association.

    The survey, conducted in late August, queried 29 station managers about restroom availability. Fifteen managers acknowledged the existence of such facilities in the station; 14 did not. One station manager, according to the report, twice told the surveyor there was no restroom while standing next to a restroom availability sign. Last year, Metro reached a compromise with critics that allowed the public to use station restrooms if the station manager opened the facilities.

    Metro came under fire last year for eliminating public access, citing security concerns. A Metro spokesman said restrooms at all but four stations “are open.” WMATA spokesman Steven Taubenkibel said Metro is aware of the survey and is reminding station managers of the policy. . .

    Metro officials say a high-tech portable toilet installed last summer at the Huntington Metro station has been a success, but they have no immediate plans to buy more. The $109,000 toilet – which cleans itself and plays music – was installed as part of a pilot program to give riders a place to go while the “real” bathrooms were closed.

    Metro spokesman Steven Taubenkibel said the toilet is used between 110 and 120 times each weekday and an average of 80 times each day on the weekend. Metro has nearly paid off the three-year lease of the device and will keep operating the toilet, he said. Last year, Metro said 38,220 people used the high-tech toilet.

    According to the math, that works out to $2.85 per patron. As one critic pointed out, “I never knew doody could be so expensive.”

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