How do the crips do it? How do they get around the Metro using the Metro elevators? I guess many times they don’t, and are reduced to swearing at Metro in frustration.

I sure felt like swearing yesterday as I tried to navigate the Metro with my bicycle. Allowed outside of rush hour, I was taking my bike out to the ‘burbs for a NoVA to DC bike ride and encountered the slowness of the Metro elevators. Slowness that even three-towed sloths are impressed by.

From the pushing of the button to the arrival of an elevator was a watching grass grow wait. Then you could easily load 100,000 superballs, one by one, in the time it took the doors to open and then close. Add in the super-slow transit time to the door open-close move at the other floor and I think I aged a decade in my short four elevator transit of Metro’s transit system.

Hey Metro, how ’bout an express elevator system? Just make sure to get permits first.