Archive for the ‘WTF?!’ Category

Didn’t It Snow This Week?

dsc01940 Remember Monday? You know that day we were either happy to not have school, or somewhat cranky that we only had a two-hour delay at work. Ya that day it snowed… a lot. Now all of a sudden it’s 70 and wonderful outside. I went out to the Natural History Museum with friends and I just walked all over downtown without a coat on. That was only a week after I was bundled up trying to scrap ice off my car.

While it may have been nice this weekend, it looks like the weather is going to get cooler as we get back to work tomorrow. It won’t get back up to 70’s but it will stay above freezing at least.

That’s what I love about DC, we get a winter but it doesn’t stay too long for us to hate it.

Anybody else do anything interesting with the warm weather out?

Nationals: Trading One Demon for Another

Just a day after getting rid of Jim Bowden, the Nationals unleashed this:

GAHHHH! Kill The Humans!
GAHHHH! Kill The Humans!

credit Washington Post Sports Bog.  Also-(Deadspin) and  (Fox 5 Video) if you want to see the demon move.

upon the world.  There are some things that you cannot undo, you cannot take back-this image of the new Screech is one of them. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now too scared to go to Nationals Park-especially a night game.

What hell-spawn pit did this thing crawl out of and why didn’t someone stake it in the heart the moment it first reared it’s ugly demon eagle head?  Does it even have a heart?  Did someone open The Gate?    Has Screech’s feed bill been cut due to the recession?  Is this supposed to be lean and healthy Screech?  Because if he is I have to say:

screech2

Feed Me!...Your CHILDREN!!! GRAAHHHH!!!!

He clearly looks hungry.

What child is going to not be completely freaked out by this change? 

I’m sorry, but this thing is just foul (no pun intended).  By Screech’s appearance I would hazard a guess that either they stapled his stomach or he has become best friends with Lindsay Lohan and is currently going through his “bad boy of Hollywood” stage.  This bird is not healthy and someone needs to make sure he is eating his birdseed (or whatever you feed an Eagle).

I’m not the only one who thinks so either.  Patrick’s quote when I ran this by him (to make sure it wasn’t too much to reprint here):  “It is so scary.” 

So there you go. 

Side-note:  Could this monster be the evil minion of Jim Bowden, sent back to exact his revenge?  Or was Bowden secretly misunderstood-the only warrior between our dimension and whatever plane of existence this thing came from?  Someone needs to call Dr. Who.

Funny Or Die Hits DC For High Fives

Just when I thought I was done with the Inauguration beat the hits keep on coming!

The Funny or Die crew visited DC during the Inauguration to film the latest installment of their high five montages.

My friends at Funny or Die sent along word about the video and when I saw it, I was immediately laughing. Now I thought the first couple were great but the DC version includes more celebs, pundits, and politicians than ever! They definitely did a great job taking advantage of the influx of famous names in town for the weekend.

I’m a sucker for DC locales and they did a great job of getting high fives all over downtown. The list of names range from Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to Howard Dean to even Newt Gingrich. Celebs like Jack Black, Nelly, and even Obama Girl make an appearance. I especially like the sinister looking Larry King.

Click on the image below to watch the video:

Nancy Pelosi’s Cat Cam Capers

It appears that Nancy Pelosi is taking a page from Barney Cam and posted a video on her YouTube channel that appears to be a cute video of her cats in the Capitol– I urge everyone to check it out for the pleasant surprise at the end.

After watching the short video I have to say that she may be the hippest Speaker of the House ever.

Package delivery hazards, and being a city mouse

Props to joezilagyi on Flickr

Props to joezilagyi on Flickr

I guess I understand why FedEx offers this service; “real” FedEx is aimed at delivery to offices during the business day.  But then FedEx began contracting out Home Delivery (not without issues) for online orders to folks who are not often home during the day.

I find it interesting that FedEx recently changed its ad campaign from Relax, It’s FedEx to We Understand.  But I don’t think they understand the differences between home delivery to country mice and city mice.  Case in point was delivery this morning of a rug ordered online.

9:55 am: Loud knock at the door.
9:56 am: I open the door and am almost beaned by a rolled-up rug falling at my face.   The guy driving the Penske rental van (illegally parked across the street) calls out “Sorry!” as he gets in and drives away.  I drag the 60-pound package into the house.
9:58 am: I check the FedEx tracking website to see that the package was left “on the porch”.

Okay, I live in a rowhouse in the densest urban neighborhood in DC.  I do not have a “porch”, I have two cast-iron steps outside my front door, which I don’t even own.  No one in their right mind should leave a package at my door.  Right.

And so I will rant briefly about being a responsible online-orderer in the city, which includes:

  • planning accordingly for when one is home to answer the door and when one is not
  • getting to know one’s regular FedEx, UPS, and USPS delivery professional
  • knowing one’s neighbors and relying on one another to get accept packages

I won’t add “expecting a delivery person to be able to read a note taped to the door”, because that’s been kind of hit or miss.  </rant>

Sisterhood Of The Traveling Post-Its

Maybe it was the freezing temperatures that kept people at home that night. When I walked into Mackey’s Public House this past Saturday the crowds were light but cheery.

I was out on the town after watching the Wizards come so close but not close enough against the Lakers. At least they pulled off a comeback but I have a bad feeling when it comes to the future outlook of the home basketball team.

So I was at a table with my date when I see a server walk over and strike up a conversation with a table of women. He wasn’t getting drink order or phone numbers- but inquiring about the mess they appeared to have made on their table.

I glanced over and noticed that these ladies were drinking on a table covered in Post-It notes.

The small white company branded notes told me that the display wasn’t part of the bar decor. Laughter was the only understandable behavior as the women scribbled down notes on new post-it notes and stuck them on the table, their friends, and their own body parts. Was this some drinking game I’ve never heard of? Was it the result of a long happy hour that’s evolved to behavior too drunken to really understand? After the server left I had to do the same and I leaned over to find out.

I walked over and introduced myself, asking what was on these notes that were being exchanged. A blonde probably the size of my pinky told me that each note represented a different ex-boy friend and the night was spent exchanging stories while creating paper representations of old flames.

And just like that I was sucked into a scene fit for any romantic chick flick or episode of Sex and the City.

After the explanation I was handed a blank pad and a pen and asked to contribute. Any combination of words, sentences, or diagrams were permitted. As I write this I have thought of five better stories I could have recalled but I scribbled down the first thing that came to my mind that night.

I won’t disclose what I wrote but it was one word and it required no explanation once I slammed it down on the table.

The ladies hooted and hollered and stuck the note on my pants.

I didn’t get any of their names but found out that they all knew each other through a combination of roommates and classmates at various graduate and undergraduate studies. I’m actually glad I didn’t get a name for fear that I may become a post-it note, an inside joke scribbled on a piece of paper on a night of drinking.

The owner of the pad and originator of the spontaneous activity had two post-it notes stuck on her shirt. One read “Leggy”, which is apparently her nick name, and the other read “Emotionally Uninterested.”

She explained, “I dated this guy who told me that he wasn’t emotionally unavailable to women- he was just emotionally uninterested.”

Other stories that were told me that night included trickery to land a date in the Bethesda Metro, a proposal in the middle of the ocean, and a Marine who hasn’t made a move after three dates.

“We’ve been dating for a month and after three dates he hasn’t even kissed me- isn’t that weird?”

After looking at the owner of the note I wondered myself and it sparked debate and further stories between me, my date, and her.

The conversation between the ladies soon turned to dancing so my date and I returned to our table to enjoy our drinks and watched four ladies and a pad of post-it notes out in Washington DC.

As I finished my drink the DJ puts on Beyonce’s latest track, a catchy dance beat called “Single Ladies.”

I laughed as it was an appropriate theme song of the night, as the ladies sang, danced, and displayed their bare ring fingers.

The Real Dirt In DC

Do you know what I hate about moving?

Trying to furnish an empty house. I recently moved to a new place in Clarendon and Craigslist has been my best friend. I’ve been on it to find everything from roommates to TVs. Something I’ve noticed in my Craigslist travels is how much free dirt is available in the DC area.

Now I’m not dumb (well most of the time)- I realize people with their home improvement and gardening projects will have mounds of dirt leftover and wants someone to take it away. We’ve all driven by houses with signs advertising free firewood- it’s the same logic. However I can’t help but laugh at the headline- “free dirt.”

When I’m browsing through the listsings, I get excited about free TVs, Couches, or Pet Items. Free dirt just doesn’t get me as excited however. Maybe it’s because if I want dirt I just need to go into my backyard to get some.

Maybe I’m being ridiculous, but doesn’t anyone else gets a chuckle when they see free dirt on the DC Craigslist?

How Not to Park

Recognize this car?  It’s a late model black Ford Escape with North Carolina tags, and it’s been parked on my street for several weeks.  We’ve discussed this with the meter maids parking enforcement personnel who ticketed it on a regular basis, but the car stayed put.  It’s also been blocking the street sweeper every Thursday, which implies these have NOT been issuing warnings since the beginning of August.

So today we called 311.  Turns out the vehicle was reported stolen six weeks ago!  The very helpful officer who arrived with a tow truck speculated that someone parked for an evening out in Adams Morgan, got a little tippers, and couldn’t find it again.  Or perhaps it was a vicious practical joke, or a sudden and incapacitating injury.  Sadly, we’ll never know.

The wackiest part?  The car was unlocked the entire time.

Grenade In Rock Creek Park

I have noticed that Rock Creek Park has recently finished some construction to repair some sections of parkway- now there’s a possibility there may also be a big crater in the middle of it.

I was watching the local news and there was a breaking news story on a suspicious package that could possibly be a grenade.

WJLA says that 16th Street between between Longfellow Street NW and Colorado Avenue is closed and police are on the scene.

You may want to avoid that area today.

UPDATE:The Washington Post reports that it the grenade, which was real, was taken care of by the military. Always helpful having those types of people around Washington DC for situations like this.

Arlington County Police Needs To Check Blind Spot

I was at the Taste of Columbia Pike this afternoon for a work event. It wasn’t that bad, there was a large crowd of locals and lots of entertainment mostly consisting of different groups of dancers (the Saffron Belly Dancers were very nice to watch.)

So I  was standing around with some co-workers chatting it up while watching these women twirl around with their bare mid-drifts. All of a sudden I hear a guy yell “watch out!” which was then followed by a loud thump. Sounds like someone wasn’t watching out.

I turned to see an Arlington County Police Cruiser back into a parked car.

Typically the Police resolve an accident- not cause it.

It wasn’t a huge deal, just some paint left on the other car but I had to say I was amused to see the officiers exchange information and take photos. It makes me wonder what happens a police officier gets into a fender bender.

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