Sports fans may know him as the ESPN columnist that’s a die-hard Boston sports fan (which appeals to me as a former Bostonian), I know him mainly from his daily podcasts that feature interviews with his friends, fellow writers, and the occasional GM or actor. His experience writing for the Jimmy Kimmel Show has given him a broad background and network that makes his podcasts entertaining for both fans of sports and pop culture.

So you can tell that I was thrilled to hear via Twitter that Simmons will be kicking off his book tour in Washington DC with a midnight signing at ESPN Zone. He’ll be there tonight to release his latest book, The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy, and he’ll be signing copies that you can purchase or you can bring in your own copies to be signed (he’s already recommended going to Amazon or Wal-Mart to get the best deals.)

So if you want to know where I’ll be tonight, I’ll be the one with the Red Sox cap standing in line downtown- however I have a feeling there’ll be a lot of Boston caps in line, maybe I should wear my Nationals hat instead.

UPDATE: It was great to shake The Sports Guy’s hand and get him to sign my copy of the book with an insult to my Alma Mater (which neighbors his Alma Mater of Holy Cross.) The event was so big that they didn’t have enough books for everyone, and the line rounded the corner and went down three blocks- glad to see DC has a lot of Bill Simmons fans!

Photo cred to NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

The lecture series at the Carnegie Institution for Science always has interesting stuff.  The latest is Margaret Tolbert from the University of Colorado, speaking on Hazy Skies on Early Earth:  Lessons from Saturn’s Moon Titan.  And I must add that the talks I’ve been to have unabashedly lobbied for carbon trading (which I personally believe is going to produce the mother of all unintended consequences), and it is generally part of the Q&A.  There; fair warning.

Saturn’s moon, Titan, is covered by a thick organic haze that completely shrouds the surface from view. Such a mysterious haze might have also been present on Earth billions of years ago. Comparing the hazes that form in these two distant lands can help us learn more about the climate and habitability of our own planet in ancient times.

PSA:  This month’s lecture is moved from the regular location to the
Grosvenor Auditorium at the National Geographic building, 1145 17th St NW (at L)
Thursday, February 12th
6:45 pm
Free and open to the public; no reservations needed

I started out the morning well bundled. I wore many, many layers and had hand/toe warmers, water, snacks, and maps ready to go.

At 8:30 AM my friend Carrie and I proceeded down to the Clarendon Metro stop to check out that option, if everything appeared all right a possible entry route was to simple Metro into a station and walk to The Mall. While that option was the simplist it was also one of the most popular and I expected to see the Clarendon stop overflowing with people as we walk the short two blocks to the station.

I was surprised to see the station empty, like it regularly looks on a holiday in the morning. The station appeared almost inviting as we walked but we decided against it, we wanted to check out one more option I thought up.

My secret, dark horse plan to get try and get on one of the Metrobuses running special routes to The National Mall. I figured that buses would have no problem getting over the closed bridges and roads, and that the Metrobus would be a less popular option, and thus possibly less crowded. I was wrong.

We started to walk down Clarendon to check out what the bus scene was like. We got out answer when a packed Metrobus drove by the bus stop we were at. Others at the bus stop heard from others that the buses weren’t even stopping in DC as planned. Instead they were dropping off patrons at Rosslyn. At that point we decided to give the Metro a look before plan C- walking all the way.

We continued walking down Clarendon to Court House, I was happy to see that there were hardly anybody at the station except a few other celebrators. The Metro was running trains at rush hour pace so each train was only 2 minutes apart. Good thing because when the first train showed up it was absolutely packed, with no chance of anybody new getting on. We were lucky that the next train had some space for us at the end of the train. We rode it all the way to Foggy Bottom.

We had to wait a bit on the way to the station because Vice-President’s motorcade was traveling by and they temporarily closed the station. Excitement filled the car when the conductor passed along the news.

From Foggy Bottom we made a quick bee line to The Lincoln Memorial. The plan was to just get to The Mall and once on the ground, figure out how far up we could  go while still getting a good view of the Jumbotron screens.

As we exited the station we saw a Vienna train arriving, traveling away from the city. It was quite a sight to see the packed train unload opposite an empty one.

As we made our way to The Mall, it was cool to see the road closures enforced by the National Guard, a little bit cooler than the usual Metropolitan police. When we arrived we were greeted by happy and excited volunteers wearing red hats. Once at The Mall we saw that everything appeared to be open to the Washington Monument. I was expected crowds reaching the World War II memorial at this point, so I was excited and quickly made my way to get a spot.

Some people decided to sit on the steps of the Lincoln and enjoyed the Jumbotrons left standing from the concert, which was playing on the screens. We made our way to the Monument to U2 and it was awesome.

Once we reached the Washington Monument we saw that we reach pretty much the end of the line. Everything past the Washington Monument looked like a sea of people. So we just found a nice open spot to view the Jumbotron and got ready for the ceremony.

I was a geek and I wanted to try and call my mom- cell phone reception was spotty as expected but I was able to get a call through.

The Inauguration ceremony itself was great. There were lots of funny moments such as when the audience was told to sit (obviously meant for those with tickets and when Rev. Rick Warren said, “We now commit our new president and his wife, Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care.” He added some extra emphasis on Sasha’s name.

All the former Presidents, Vice-Presidents, and even Speakers of the House were on hand. Everybody booed anytime George W. Bush was mentioned. I got some video and it was quite the scene. It was also weird but still sinister to see Dick Cheney in a wheelchair. It appears that he pulled his back moving- why didn’t he have movers take care of that job? It’s not like he doesn’t have the money.

The audio wasn’t all that great on The Mall but we were able to hear the moment everyone was waiting for: the oath of office. The crowd rumbled with glove covered applause when it happened. I thought the muted clapping was funny.

After the address the escape began. We made our way past Independence heading towards Eastern Market. The plan was to have lunch and watch the parade from a much warmer locale. The street closures left Inauguration goers with lots of space to make their way. At one point I was on 395 south walking in the middle of the highway. It had that post-apocalyptic feeling.

Unfortunately I under estimated the crowd in thinking they wouldn’t make it all the way to Eastern Market, but they did. All the restaurants on 8th street were crowded and the station was already over flowing. We walked over to Northeast but we found nothing but a ghetto.

We ended up back in Eastern Market and managed to snag some bar space at Cafe 8 and we watched the parade and enjoyed a well deserved lunch. It was sad to see Kennedy carted off during the Inaugural lunch, as a Massachusetts native I hope he’s ok. Joe Biden was a class act, choosing to walk the rest of the route and really hamming it up with his smile and pointing out of people he must of knew.

The escape back into Virginia was painless, after all the walking, eating, and parade watching, crowds died down and we rode an empty train all the way back.

It was a fun weekend to celebrate a historic event. The day after I was talking about the Inauguration with a co-worker who offered the smart-ass comment, “so you basically saw what I saw.” It really got under my skin. Why did I decide to go out? Well besides the point everyone else was doing it, I really wanted to say, “I was there.” Others can say they were with their family or their closest friends, I can say I was there and I was with 1.8 million people. Neither chose is right or wrong, there are just different and “where you were” when it happened is simply an individual choice every makes, much like a favorite color or movie. And despite all the cold, walking, and hassles I endured, I’m glad I made it.

I actually was thinking about the “We Are One” Inaugural concert kickoff but I previously made plans for lunch out in Tyson’s Corner.

Driving out to Tyson’s from Arlington was surprisingly quiet, I didn’t expect traffic leaving but I thought maybe with all the road closures that there would be traffic heading into the city. But everything looked smooth as Barack Obama.

I arrived at Coastal Flats only to hear that my original plans had fallen through. Well I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy lunch anyways (this time at Gordon Biersch) and walk around the suburbia that is the Tyson’s Corner Mall.

After an excellent burger and garlic fries I was ready to walk off the food coma and make out with girls. The later probably wouldn’t be wise to do after eating some of those delicious fries.

Walking through the mall I passed by a Verizon FiOS kiosk, where several

TV were playing CNN. All of a sudden Denzel Washington came on and I realized the concert had already started. When Obama and Biden walked down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial a crowd quickly formed. It was cool to see how the Inauguration still manages to catch the attention of those busy with their own lives.

After the walk around the mall I headed back to my place to watch the rest of the concert on HBO. While I’m not surprised that a number of celebrities that showed up to speak, I was shocked to see how big the names were. The PIC has a live blog up that pretty much walks through the entire program.

"We Are One" courtesy of the Presidential Inaugural Committee

One comment I do want to make is on the Bald Eagles that were brought out- it was kind of a weird pause if you ask me. I respect and admire the animals but they were brought out then silence, and then when they tried to fly they were tied down so it looked like they were attacking their owners more than flying. For a minute I thought they were going to let them go or something but it just turned out to be an odd display of our national bird.

After the concert I met up with my friend Mike and we enjoyed the Ravens/Steelers game at Bailey’s then it was on to downtown to check out the nightlife scene.

The scene was rather quiet despite the extended hours, then I remembered that Metro was only running til Midnight which could explain the lack of crowds around the area. I did meet a group of “Obama Mamas” on the Orange line. They were from Seattle and attended the  Washington State Society reception over at Sam & Harry’s. The mamas traveled all the way from the West Coast and were surprised with how nice the people have been everywhere they went. From the Inaugural concert to downtown. What can I say, we aren’t New Yorkers here.

I was out on the town after watching the Wizards come so close but not close enough against the Lakers. At least they pulled off a comeback but I have a bad feeling when it comes to the future outlook of the home basketball team.

So I was at a table with my date when I see a server walk over and strike up a conversation with a table of women. He wasn’t getting drink order or phone numbers- but inquiring about the mess they appeared to have made on their table.

I glanced over and noticed that these ladies were drinking on a table covered in Post-It notes.

The small white company branded notes told me that the display wasn’t part of the bar decor. Laughter was the only understandable behavior as the women scribbled down notes on new post-it notes and stuck them on the table, their friends, and their own body parts. Was this some drinking game I’ve never heard of? Was it the result of a long happy hour that’s evolved to behavior too drunken to really understand? After the server left I had to do the same and I leaned over to find out.

I walked over and introduced myself, asking what was on these notes that were being exchanged. A blonde probably the size of my pinky told me that each note represented a different ex-boy friend and the night was spent exchanging stories while creating paper representations of old flames.

And just like that I was sucked into a scene fit for any romantic chick flick or episode of Sex and the City.

After the explanation I was handed a blank pad and a pen and asked to contribute. Any combination of words, sentences, or diagrams were permitted. As I write this I have thought of five better stories I could have recalled but I scribbled down the first thing that came to my mind that night.

I won’t disclose what I wrote but it was one word and it required no explanation once I slammed it down on the table.

The ladies hooted and hollered and stuck the note on my pants.

I didn’t get any of their names but found out that they all knew each other through a combination of roommates and classmates at various graduate and undergraduate studies. I’m actually glad I didn’t get a name for fear that I may become a post-it note, an inside joke scribbled on a piece of paper on a night of drinking.

The owner of the pad and originator of the spontaneous activity had two post-it notes stuck on her shirt. One read “Leggy”, which is apparently her nick name, and the other read “Emotionally Uninterested.”

She explained, “I dated this guy who told me that he wasn’t emotionally unavailable to women- he was just emotionally uninterested.”

Other stories that were told me that night included trickery to land a date in the Bethesda Metro, a proposal in the middle of the ocean, and a Marine who hasn’t made a move after three dates.

“We’ve been dating for a month and after three dates he hasn’t even kissed me- isn’t that weird?”

After looking at the owner of the note I wondered myself and it sparked debate and further stories between me, my date, and her.

The conversation between the ladies soon turned to dancing so my date and I returned to our table to enjoy our drinks and watched four ladies and a pad of post-it notes out in Washington DC.

As I finished my drink the DJ puts on Beyonce’s latest track, a catchy dance beat called “Single Ladies.”

I laughed as it was an appropriate theme song of the night, as the ladies sang, danced, and displayed their bare ring fingers.

There is a catch however- you have to sing happy birthday to the museum.

Call me spoiled from all of DC’s free museums but I am not a big fan of the expensive prices of some of the other museums here and I will definitely take advantage of this deal while it lasts (it ends Saturday.)

Now time to find someone that can actually go out during the museum’s tourist (but not local resident) friendly hours.

First off, if you’re a Nats fan headed to the game with the Orioles on Sunday, good luck. You’re hosed.

Heads up to everyone travelling across the District this weekend: every single Metro line is seeing major track work and rail testing from Friday night through early Monday morning.

Blue Line
Sad to say, this one’s been hit the worst. First, customers traveling between the Franconia-Springfield and Van Dorn Street Metrorail stations should add up to 30 minutes of travel time for their trips because of track maintenance. Inbound and outbound trains between these locations will share one track from 10 p.m. to closing (3 a.m.), Friday, June 27, 7 a.m. to 10 a.m., Saturday, June 28, 10 p.m. to closing (3 a.m.), Saturday, June 28, and 7 a.m. to 10 a.m., Sunday, June 29.

Additionally, if you’re traveling between the Pentagon City and Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport Metrorail stations, you should add 15 minutes of travel time for your trips because of track maintenance. Inbound and outbound trains will share one track between these locations from 10 p.m. to closing (midnight), Sunday, June 29.

Yellow Line
You get to piggy-back on the Blue Line’s woes. See above for sharing issues between Pentagon City and Reagan National.

Orange Line
Riders traveling between the Stadium-Armory and Cheverly Metrorail stations should add up to 20 minutes of travel time for their trips because of bridge repairs. Inbound and outbound trains between these locations will share one track from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday, June 28.

Green Line
If you’re traveling between the Greenbelt and College Park Metrorail stations, add 15 minutes of travel time for your trips because of rail car testing. Inbound and outbound trains will share one track between these locations from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., Saturday, June 28.

Red Line
And finally, riders traveling between the Friendship Heights and Medical Center Metrorail stations should add 15 minutes of travel time for their trips because of track maintenance. Inbound and outbound trains will share one track between these locations from 9 p.m. to closing (midnight), Sunday, June 29.

Helmed by a wonderfully expressive Rene Auberjonois and a sparkling Nancy Robinette, this is one of the strongest ensembles I’ve seen at STC in a long time, with so many hysterical key moments for the cast it’s unfair to detail any in particular. But Auberjonois’ rendering of the hypochondriac Argan and Robinette’s saucy maid Toinette set the comic pace, playing off each other perfectly. A showpiece for the intimacy of the Lansburgh, it’s also exquisitely designed, with sets and costumes evoking the period without being slavish (Simon Higlett and Robert Perdziola respectively). Director Keith Baxter chose to reinstate the masques and commedia interludes that often get cut, with the result that audience members truly feel transported to Carnival 1673, right down to an appearance by Le Roi himself.

“The Imaginary Invalid” has the distinction of being the last play Moliere performed in, as he expired after the fourth showing. Written at the end of his struggle with tuberculosis, it contains a scathing indictment of the ignorance and arrogance of the medical profession of his time (with pertinent echoes to our own era’s uneasy dalliance between pharmaceutical companies, doctors, and their nervous boomer patients). And yet it is a supremely enjoyable piece – as all great comedy comes with a sting in its tail. Definitely worth it.

DC Dept. of Transportation says that more than 30 traffic signals in the downtown core are also out, and has requested that people please treat them as four ways stops. I know there were more than a few people on my drive up 15th street who failed to treat them as such. Of course, when traffic’s flowing, it’s hard to treat them that way, I get it, but still.

Be aware, commuting today probably sucked ass, so please be nicer to your coworkers who looked like they slogged through a marsh of fire in order to come to work.

[Update, 9:56] Dupont Circle Metro is now closed due to the power outage. Apparently a lot of people were having trouble exiting the station on the long escalator climb to the surface.

The all-staff email went out last week: “We recently learned that the DC Government is now enforcing its recycling regulations. Inspectors are making unannounced inspections and issuing warnings for failure to recycle. Second violations are subject to fines. As we know, the DC government is in need of funds so we can expect enforcement to be serious…”

Since I work on our website and just don’t generate much paper waste, I made mental note of what common items in my cube would go into which containers (soda cans mostly, like any self-respecting geek), assumed that the promised at-desk recycling boxes would once again not make it to me, and didn’t think about it again.

Until yesterday, that is. Our Vice President of Facilities and Property came to my cube around 4:30 yesterday, and said, “Hi Tiffany, how’s your trash?”

“Um, empty, mostly…” I pulled my trash can out, displaying the two items inside: a used sub shop napkin and a square of paper.

“What’s THAT?” she said, indicating the non-napkin item.

“Oh, it’s a page from this calendar here,” I indicated my Page-A-Day calendar. Coated paper, questionably recyclable.

“Okay, great.” She walked away.

And then I noticed the email she had sent shortly before- a DC Recycling Inspector was going to be visiting our building the next day and would be issuing fines for any violations.

Let me clarify- an employee of the DC government, paid by tax dollars, would be entering our office for the purpose of poking at our trash cans. And let’s not pretend this is about the environment: the inspector could fine us for throwing away recyclable material, but at the end of the complex list of what is and is not appropriate in recycle bins, DC admonishes us “WHEN IN DOUBT, LEAVE IT OUT.”

But that’s how it came to pass that this very morning, before the arrival of the inspector, the Senior Director of my division came around to each individual member of our department, and delivered a perfunctory speech about how our organization takes recycling very seriously both for environmental and fine-avoidance reasons, and that complying with company procedures is the responsibility of every employee.

I’m so delighted that commitment to efficient stewardship of our resources extends to how DC businesses must spend the time of their well-compensated executives.

If you were wondering, we passed our recycling inspection perfectly. In fact, only one tenant in th building was fined for recycling violations- an office of the DC Government.

The Goddess of Recycling

Originally uploaded by His and Hers Parigi