In case Patrick’s thinly veiled plea to go see him on Saturday night doesn’t speak to you (or, the far more likely event is that so many of you rush to buy tickets that the show sells out) I’ll throw out another suggestion for Saturday night-The Washington Wizards open their season on Halloween night. 

Maybe its a testament to how scary last year’s basketball season was that the Washington Wizards are opening the Home season on Halloween.  Of course, with the return of Agent Zero Gilbert Arenas to the floor, The Wiz are already 1/19th of the way to matching last years total and are probably “dressing up” for Saturday as the team they used to be-a low seed playoff team and early first round exiter.  Of course, making the playoffs (or just being competitive) will be a huge step up for this team and attendance at basketball games should increase.  They’ve already shown their Western Conference underachieving counter part, the Dallas Mavericks, that they mean business handing them a home opening loss on Wednesday night. 

The Wiz should play a good game Saturday night, and even if they don’t they are encouraging costumes so you’ll be able to hide in shame-unlike certain other franchises that are run as if they are a small Central American dictatorship I could name.

Free Masks, Candy and Schedule Magnets for fans as well as a contest for best costume-which will win you season tickets, so nothing to sneeze at there.  What would be a wining idea for a costume?  I’m thinking a LOT of people will go as a, wait for it, WIZARD so if you go that route make sure yours is killer.  Also, tasteless stuff is probably not going to cut it, even though I’d give you style points, it is a family event. 

My suggestion is to tape a lot of fake money to your shirt and go as the Wizards first round draft choice-CASH.  (If you have a friend, they can be “Cash Considerations.”)

Whatever you do, dont’ be a ceiling fan.  Please.  For me.

Last week I posted on my facebook page “Could DC be the worst Sports town in the Country?” and I don’t think was out of line to ask that question.  (Seattle was the only other obvious contender-with a terrible baseball team, no hockey, an awful football team and having just lost their basketball team).

But April showers bring the buds of May-and all the bad news of the past month seems to be shaping up nicely for DC Sports fans-Need proof?  Read on:

The Wizards had just finished a dismal 19-63 season-by far the worst team in the East (only the Kings in the West did worse).  No playoffs for the first time in years.  The $100+ million dollar man, Gilbert Arenas, played in a total of  2 games for 31.5 minutes (At over $14 mil for the year, that’s $7 mil a game, or $465,189 per minute).

And now: “Flip” Saunders heads the team-and he has a pedigree of at least getting out of the first round of the playoffs.   Gilbert Arenas looked, well, not awful in his two games and at least seems to be running around-presumably he will be better for next year.  All that losing seems to have paid off too, with the Wizards having the second most chances of getting the top pick in the draft-and can only finish as low as 5th.  In a class heavy on PGs and low on big guys-picking high is more important than ever this year.  

Skins, Nats and Caps after the jump. (more…)

Agent Zero

Perpetual headache/best player on the team Gilbert Arenas is kinda, sorta possibly set to make his return to the Wizards this Saturday, just in time to watch them die at the table.  Like a starlet who married an old fogey for his billions, Arenas is here just in time to show up for the reading of the Wizards will to see if there is anything that was left for him. 

After taking the Wizards $111 million  deal (which the Wizards, in my opinion, were nuts to sign him to) Agent Zero promptly got knee surgery and was going to be back in a month…I mean late December…oh wait, maybe this Saturday.  He’s been running full speed with the team for a month (except on road trips) during practice and the rumor is he’ll make his return against the Pistons this week-but when asked, Arenas answered in only the way he can:

“It’s only true if I play Saturday.”

Hibachi!

More embarrassing Wizards facts after the jump.

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