Archive for the ‘Maryland’ Category

Mardi Gras Update: Bethesda

Rollicking good time in bethesda

People are shuffling around, not making eye contact, as I prance around shirtless, my body painted green, purple and silver, the only person enjoying the significance of this day. Bethesda – I ask – what gives? Where is the fun? I get the whole ban on public nudity because you have to draw the line somewhere, even if it is arbitrary, but does that ban extend to all types of fun? Is this a city of squares who wouldn’t know how to party if given a rule book?

Yep, that about sums it up for Bethesda. What’s going on in your neck of the woods?

Night Dreams in Bethesda Caters to After-Church Crowd

Open sundays!
Yep, Night Dreams is now open for your after-church porn needs. Visit this Sunday from 12-6. What? You are scared of looking like a sinner in front of your church pals you might encounter there? Good news – they also have an online store for the bashful heathen in all of us.

The Awesome Room

The more time I spend telling jokes in and around DC, the more impressed I am with the quality of local talent we have hanging around here. The DC Improv is a great place to see national headliners, but there’s a great, bubbly mass o’ fun happening in smaller venues all around the area.

Local comedian (and a personal favorite of mine) Jake Young has started his own monthly show at McGinty’s Public House in Downtown Silver Spring, called The Awesome Room.

The first show will be January 31st at 9PM. You must go, if for no other reason than to see Seaton Smith. You will not be sorry.

Christmas Music

Merry Christmas The holiday season, aside from being filled chaotic shopping, pressure-filled holiday office parties (gone are the days of the making-out-with-the-cute-girl-from-accounting-on-the-copier, apparently…), and all manner of family stresses, is filled also with music. These next two weeks are full of some of the best music that Western Civilization has to offer: full of hope, full of peace, and full of love. Better still, they’re in some of the most astounding acoustical places that our area has to offer. Amidst the chaos and cold, enjoy some peace and sound.

Choral Arts Society of Washington
December 17th, 7pm
December 23rd, 7pm
December 24th, 1pm
Kennedy Center Concert Hall

Cathedral Choral Society
Friday, December 14, 7:30pm
Saturday, December 15, 4pm
Sunday, December 16, 4pm
Washington National Cathedral

There are many other choirs in the DC area having events this winter, and I highly recommend checking out their amazing voices. Take the time this week or next to take a pause from the holiday frantics and to enjoy some beautiful music.

Make Bethesda Up Yours

Make Bethesda Up Yours IMGP0001

Every day when I walk through Bethesda and enjoy such things as the Bling Bus, the broke-ass expensive parking meters and even the fishy minivan, I can’t help but like the town. Sure, it has marketing problems, such as this slogan, but at least it is a good-looking place that always seems to try to better its image.

The “UP” part of this slogan refers to Bethesda United Partnerships, which does the landscaping, much of the aesthetic maintenance and management of large events. There’s a lot going on here other than a string of chain restaurants. Thankfully I don’t work in that part of town, so my image of Bethesda is one of independent businesses, interesting people and an aspect of commerce that is thriving there while disappearing in many other places.

Go to the Bethesda.org site and see some of the cool things going on there. Art walks, farmer’s market, flea markets… Bethesda really has it going on.

The one drawback to Bethesda is that there is no Taco Bell. So when Don posts about free tacos and other such delights, I have to settle for Chipotle and a burrito the size of a cow’s head. Sin manteca, of course.

Busted Flat in Bethesda

Abby loves this title even though it apprently makes no sense.

Another parking meter letter, this time on Woodmont Street in Bethesda:

Dear Kind Parking Enforcement Officer:

Came for lunch with my attorney, who assured me this ‘IOU’ was sufficient because I do not carry coins. I just can’t be bothered with them; they rattle too much in my pockets and throw off my game. How’s a guy supposed to get some action when he’s got coins rattling so close to his junk? Anyway, IOU $2 for overpriced parking for my overpriced lunch.

Yours Truly,
Don Whiteside*

Have you seen any love notes, IOU letters or broken meter complaints? Are you opportunistic enough to watch for them and take that spot, then claim you were the note writer?

*Not really Don Whiteside, who is an honest, law-abiding fellow, not a scofflaw like the Johnny Nogood who left the note.

The Bethesda Bling Bus

Bringing  the bling to Bethesda

Say what you will about Bethesda being a mostly over-built commercialized area with little soul, but you can’t fault them on this one. If I had a van like this, I think I wouldn’t be able to keep the ladies at bay. Bethesda knows how to do things in style, obviously. This was parked by the Tuesday market downtown, adding to the festivity I try to enjoy once per week, as I look at all the veggies and baked goods. What a great way to take a break in the afternoon!

Small Press Expo this weekend in Bethesda

Are you the sort of person wwho likes comic books but is way too much of a hipster to admit it in public? If so you have to head over the the Small Press Expo Friday and Saturday up in Bethesda at the Marriott Bethesda North Hotel & Conference Center (5701 Marinelli Road North Bethesda, Md).

Unlike most comics convention this one won’t be filled with people dressed up like Klingons and Batman. It is more likely to be filled with indie hipster webcomics creators including some favorites of mine like Dresden Codak, Perry Bible Fellowship, and Wondermark. Not to mention indie comics legend Matt Wagner, and lots of indie print comics and zines. Plus c’mon, what else do you have to do this Saturday? It’s not like you’ve got a date or anything…

IKEA College Park Emergency Exit to Reality

I often get lost in the IKEA College Park maze. That is until I found this secret passage to the outside world.

If you are by the shopping carts and want to escape before your wallet is empty, go right past this nice elderly couple and through that door marked “Emergency Exit Only”.

Don’t worry, there is no alarm, and it will lead you right to the front door of IKEA. Just remember, the front door is entry only. It will not open for you.

You still have to exit by the cash registers, but at least you’re free from the IKEA maze that much faster.

Expo Design Center: A $45,000 Expensive Error

I want to add a kitchen to my finished basement. A place for guests or renters to cook and entertain a guest.

On the advice of others I went to the Home Depot Expo Design Center Saturday morning. Oh what an error that was!

First off, all the massive bathrooms when you first walk in made me realize just how small my house is. But the real affront happened at the kitchen design center.

There a very arrogant salesman demanded I start my kitchen design with cabinet selections, ignoring my desire to start at what appliances would fit in my small space.

When I balked at his minimum kitchen design price, $45,000!, as ridiculous crazy talk, he became downright nasty. Apparently, unless you are trust fund wealthy, you are not welcome at Expo Design Center, Montgomery Mall.

Which leaves me with a problem: where do I go to design a little basement kitchen on a small budget?

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