In case Patrick’s thinly veiled plea to go see him on Saturday night doesn’t speak to you (or, the far more likely event is that so many of you rush to buy tickets that the show sells out) I’ll throw out another suggestion for Saturday night-The Washington Wizards open their season on Halloween night. 

Maybe its a testament to how scary last year’s basketball season was that the Washington Wizards are opening the Home season on Halloween.  Of course, with the return of Agent Zero Gilbert Arenas to the floor, The Wiz are already 1/19th of the way to matching last years total and are probably “dressing up” for Saturday as the team they used to be-a low seed playoff team and early first round exiter.  Of course, making the playoffs (or just being competitive) will be a huge step up for this team and attendance at basketball games should increase.  They’ve already shown their Western Conference underachieving counter part, the Dallas Mavericks, that they mean business handing them a home opening loss on Wednesday night. 

The Wiz should play a good game Saturday night, and even if they don’t they are encouraging costumes so you’ll be able to hide in shame-unlike certain other franchises that are run as if they are a small Central American dictatorship I could name.

Free Masks, Candy and Schedule Magnets for fans as well as a contest for best costume-which will win you season tickets, so nothing to sneeze at there.  What would be a wining idea for a costume?  I’m thinking a LOT of people will go as a, wait for it, WIZARD so if you go that route make sure yours is killer.  Also, tasteless stuff is probably not going to cut it, even though I’d give you style points, it is a family event. 

My suggestion is to tape a lot of fake money to your shirt and go as the Wizards first round draft choice-CASH.  (If you have a friend, they can be “Cash Considerations.”)

Whatever you do, dont’ be a ceiling fan.  Please.  For me.

The District unveils its new "Wrong Way" sign....

I kept thinking to myself “I really have to lay of the ‘Skins.  Everything you write about them is just terrible.  I’ll wait until they do something right before I post about them again.”

Well after the Warriors of Washington lost the battle of Little FedEx Horn, I’m not sure that day is going to come. Zorn has been relieved of his calling the play duties, Campbell benched-these things are as close to  “positives” as Washington will see for a while.

At this point, I think this youtube video is about as close as I can get to something to be positive about.  Lionel Richie in the background is very relaxing to be honest.  I grieve for you Washington-I suggest you start getting interested in hockey real quick.

Hee-Haw. A seething commentary on the state of the Nats, or are these guys just a couple of Asses having some fun?

Even on the tail end of a 100+ loss season, it is nice to end with a sweep of a division rival complete with walk off grand-slam to send the fans home for the year.  It seems like years (not months) ago that the DC Metblogs crew stopped out to the stadium for opening day-and yet that is just what bad baseball is, a long season.

Over this past year though I’ve come to realize something about at least myself with regards to bad baseball-I’m okay with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really looking forward to good baseball (or at least the .500 baseball we had our first season) finally coming to town-but baseball has really started to take a foothold in this town.  How can I possibly say that when the ratings are awful and the park is nearly (or more than) half empty every home game?  I think the above photo is part of that evidence.

The fact is that, good or bad, the Nationals are part of the landscape in DC now.  The new stadium isn’t ALL that new, the players aren’t all just faceless fill-ins, guys like Zimmerman and Strassburg are intent on committing to play in DC, NATS FAIL took off this year, and two fans decided to dress up like Dunn-key’s for the game.  It’s not great when your team is the joke, but at least people are laughing and not just walking out.  Apathy still reigns with regard to the Nationals and the larger DC community, but I think its fair to say that the hardcore fans are there now.  The people who want to watch baseball, rain or shine, good or bad and are otherwise committed to team are established.  That base is here now, and everyone else is at least aware that there is a team to go see if they want to.  Attendance next year probably still won’t be what everyone wants it to be, but I expect that at times it will spike (When the Opening Day, Strass pitching, etc.) and with a team that will finally, probably start playing better baseball (at least .400 I would guess) my hope is that this team is finally turning around.

And if they don’t-well they are at least a good laugh every now and then.  Something for the casual fan to kvetch about at the water cooler without really knowing what they are talking about (It’s easy to pick up on the fact that the “Nats Stink”), and a great place for the newly committed fan to go and watch a ball game and commiserate with some others that know what the score is.

I imagine later this year we’ll do a full recap of the season and a look forward to the next, but for now I just have a vaguely optimistic feeling about this club based on the appearance of a couple of jack-asses.  Go Nats.

Redskins faithful, your favorite team lost to the Detroit Lions.

I’m sorry-maybe you didn’t hear me.  The DEEEEE.  TRRRROOIT.  LIIIOONNSSSSSS…..

While I do think that Jim Zorn isn’t helping the situation, and any responsible organization would fire him from being head coach tomorrow-let’s keep in mind that this is not a responsible organization.  I think we all know who is to blame for this “bottom of a public toilet” they call a football team here in DC-but since you can’t fire him…well…Zorn is going to go.  The question is just…when.

It’s kind of like throwing out your coffee mug because the coffee tastes bad when your $4.5 million coffee pot is broken-it doesn’t really make sense, but its all you can do.

In any event-Redskins fans, prepare for endless, endless talk about what is wrong with the Redskins from now until they beat an NFC East team via all forms of local media.  My deepest condolences.

Tracking the Media Meltdown

(Note: At 8:31p I don’t see an official story on the WaPo covering the game in my RSS feed.  Sad.)

Sports Bog: Someone’s got to go.

Sports Bog: Worst loss by a DC Sports team in 2009

So the Redskins managed to win a game yesterday, a boring 9-7 affair that was supposed to be a confidence building blow out.  I even started Clinton “Fantasy Killer” Portis in my league this year (over Fred Jackson, btw) because the consensus was “the Skins were going to bounce back hard.” (Note:  I will never ever start Clinton Portis in a fantasy league again.)

Well a 2 point win with no TDs against what is clearly one of the worst teams in the league during your home opener isn’t going to build a lot of confidence in your football program.  Which may be why some fans were booing the Skins yesterday at FedEx field-to which I say good, they deserved it.

Yes, despite the effort by the NFL and its franchises to engender a truly familial feeling between its team and its fans, the brotherly love has been seeping out slowly and surely since Dan Snyder took over the team.  Sunday some paying fans decided to express their feelings about that, and I applaud them for doing so.   Not only has this team underperformed on the field, but there has been well documented mistreatment of the fan base off the field as well.  Any fan, or non-fan really, has the right to voice their displeasure in any way they see fit (See: First Amendment).

Skins fans have seen this dance before, and they’ve been watching it for years now.  Close wins in games that should be blow outs, barely losing games they have no business in all to either not make the playoffs or make the playoffs and then do nothing.  Skins fans know that a team that cannot get into the end-zone against the Rams at home, could very well lose to Detroit on the road.  They weren’t booing a victory, but that they’ve been duped into watching a rerun.  Again.

Now to the responses from the players:  I can appreciate Randle-El’s plea not to boo because the team doesn’t appreciate it.  I think Chris Cooley doesn’t really get it when he says Skins fans should try and be the best fans-my guess is that a lot of fans feel like they aren’t rooting for the best team.  What do they have to cheer for?

The Skins, as players and a franchise, need to realize that although they think they are athletes competing on gridiron of war-they are not going to war.  They are not representing and playing for our best interests in the greater wide world-they are entertainers.  We are entertained by football, and when we are not entertained by football (as when we are not entertained by anything else) we get to voice our displeasure.

Which brings me to Robert Henson, who took it upon himself to lash back at fans of the Skins for booing.  Rather than anyone saying “Yeah we can understand the teams frustration” or “we need to do better,” Mr. Henson decided to tweet that “All you fake half hearted Skins fan can .. I won’t go there but I dislike you very strongly, don’t come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!!” Well Henson, that might be because Skins fans feel like they are cheering for a bunch of half-hearted Skins players.  Then after explaining to these “dim wits” what real Skins fans do, and how much better he is for earning more money then most people, Henson offered some half heart apology after 90% of twitter handed his moronic statements back to him.  If I was paying some-one’s salary and they weren’t pulling their weight, they’d be lucky if all I did was boo.

Point being, if the Redskins want to avoid being booed, they need to win-and win like a team that is in control of a game.  Score more points, particularly touchdowns, against weak teams (read: DETROIT this week) and then beat a team that is good.  If they want to beat the Giants 9-7, I think the fan base would be okay with that.  They aren’t in that position though.  Washington’s football club has boxed themselves out of “getting the benefit of the doubt” and as such, close wins against horrible teams aren’t going to cut it.  If they want to get back in the good graces of the sports fans here in DC they need to win in Detroit, they need to get in the end-zone more than once and they need to win by 2-3 scores.  Anything short of that and they’ll be lucky to not get booed at the gate against the Bucs the following week.

Don’t even contemplate what happens if they lose to the Lions-which for Skins fans is sadly a very real possibility.

A brilliant photo of the Cavalia Tent by Flickr user Kevin H.

(Well okay, It was night when I saw it and Kevin here took a much better picture than I could have-but that’s basically what I saw.  You get the idea)

Towering over the hotels surrounding it appeared to be either a circus tent or the fairy-tale castle of any one of a variety of princes.  I checked myself-nope, not that drunk…dreaming maybe?  Did the girlfriend put on a Disney movie while I slept (again?) A trick of the lights?  Nope.  I was left with the incredibly odd question “Just what is that tent?”

We drove by the next day and, sure enough, it was still there.  Signs read “Cavalia” but didn’t really explain what it was.  Just that it was “Cavalia.” After a week of meaning to look that up and trying to spell “Cavalia” right from memory, posters appeared in my building advertising the coming of:

CAVALIA!

As such I was able to remember the name from the short walk from the elevator to my computer, and found the web site.  What is Cavalia? Per the web site, Cavalia is an equestrian show.  Specifically:

“Homage to the poignant history and fascinating bond between human beings and horses, Cavalia is a poem written in the language of sound, image and extraordinary performance.  Blending dramatic visual effects, live music, dance and acrobatics with the bold presence of over thirty magnificent horses-including, the incredible Lusitanian Stallions-Cavalia raises the bar for spectacular entertainment in the 21st century.

So it sounds to me like some sort of fairy tale with horses, real live horses, in a kinda/sorta Cirque Du Soliel show.  Or more bluntly, something my buddy will get dragged to by his girlfriend during football.

For what it is though, it seems pretty cool-Clearly there is some cohesive story that goes through out the event, so it isn’t as if it’s just some horse show.  The pictures and videos.  Perhaps I’ll check it out before the run is over.

Tickets are available now, and if any of you go it would be great to hear your thoughts.  It appears as if the show runs through September 27th, and while ticket prices are steep I will say that the poster in my building advertised discounted rates for their neighbors.  Apparently if you punch in a certain promo code (and I don’t know if would be fair to give it away here) they give their neighbors a break on the price.  So maybe, even if you are not, say that you are a NEIGHBOR(S). EDIT: Yeah-you’ll have to show proof of residence, so just saying you’re a neighbor won’t work.  Hmmm, I wonder if that is a horse pun?  Neiiggghhh-bor.

Als0-if you need a job and don’t mind running away and joining the circus, they are hiring.

With the advent of Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol” this coming  Tuesday, the secret societies of the DC area are bracing for a sudden onrush of tourists to their places of…secrecy, I guess?  As early as Tuesday night (Seriously-how long does it take to read a Dan Brown book?) throngs of Dan Brown devotees could be showing up at your local Masonic lodge asking if they could just “poke around a bit.”  This story in yesterday’s WaPo (while taking shot after shot at Dan Brown and his audience) details how even little places like Rosslyn Chapel Trust see an explosion in tourism based on their supposed (and by supposed I mean created for a work of fiction by a writer of fiction, but it sounds real) connection to the lost mysteries of Christ.  Where Professor Robert Langdon goes, so go the masses.

No doubt, there will be an increase to some of these probable locales (THANKS Matt Lauer!) and you’re likely to get some folks bugging you with stupid half right facts about secret societies for the next two years (just in time for a movie to come out and start it all over again), it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun.  For your entertainment, here are some ideas for how to deal with tourists in search of a “Secret Washington:”

1.) Stage an argument near one of these likely destination.   Have one person imploring desperately for help from another.  Just as it reaches a fever pitch, and just as your target is in ear shot, say “Will no one help the Widow’s Son?”   Then cast shifty looks all around, and sneak off together to go do something Masonic-y.

2.) Go on one of the inevitable tours that will blossom from this, and while looking at something old and mysterious (there is bound to be something), bend over and mutter “Oh my God..” just loud enough for others to hear.  Bring a little make-up brush and start dusting something carefully and say “Oh…it just can’t be!”  Feel free to exclaim “I found it” (specify it if you have read the above book and know something that could have been found) as you rush away from the tour.  Bonus:  Have two friends ready, dressed very neatly in suits, come “collect” you when you make your discovery.  Be sure to protest the entire time you are being escorted out-especially that the others “have a right to know!”

3.) Striking up a conversation with one of these folks, start to mention some of the “rumors” you’ve heard of hidden places in DC, full of “mystery” and “wonder.”  When they inquire as to where these places are, say you’ve only heard rumor (and maybe, saw on a map just once) of places tourists never get to see-places only referred to “NorthEast” and “SouthEast”…or was it “SouthWest”, you can’t really remember.  (And let’s face it, most of NE and SE are hidden, mysterious places for tourists despite some of the neat things they offer).

4.) When a Fan-Tourist (Foorist?) tells you something that is clearly wrong or made up from the novel, but wants to pass it off as half truth, say “pfft.  That’s not how it happened in National Treasure.”  If they press you that National Treasure was “just a movie”, well, I think you can figure out what to do from there.  (Side Note:  Why didn’t National Treasure create this kind of fervor?  Those movies were pretty fun!)

5.) Get some sidewalk chalk and just start writing stuff that sounds mysterious on the sidewalk like or “AOFACFSOA FSZWBEIC EIOA ZOHSFWQWOA OQQSDW” other things from the book’s twitter page. (note:  that might actually be illegal or considered defacing property-so be warned).

6.)  Introduce them to the people still in line at Five Guy’s and Ray’s Hell Burger from when President Obama went there.  Have them exchange stories of obsessiveness.

7.) Tell them “Walk left, Stand Right.”  Nothing to do with the book, but they are likely to be tourists.

Other suggestions?

It’s fall-so it’s football.  Thursday night marks the opening of the NFL season, and while Patrick has been fantasying it up, and I’m in near hysterics watching my team make questionable move after questionable move-I think we can both safely say that we are looking forward to Thursday.  Maybe you are too-and maybe you’re looking to celebrate the new NFL year with friends, loved ones-or to make some new friends or loved ones, or you’re looking for some end of the year charitable donations to make as an offset to all of the money you won in Vegas on the Super Bowl this year.

If any of these are the case, might I suggest the Business Buddies Mid-Atlantic Region Fall Happy Hour, which just so happens to coincide with the Thursday night festivities.  Business Buddies Mid-Atlantic Region (BBMAR) will host a “Reality Bites” themed fundraising happy hour at Front Page in Arlington, VA on Thursday, September 10 from 4:00pm-8:00pm. The organization of charitable minded young professionals will raise funds for Best Buddies Virginia (BBVA), a local nonprofit dedicated to improving the lives of intellectually disabled individuals. Tickets for the event are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Tickets may be purchased at www.BestBuddiesVirginia.org/Events and proceeds will benefit BBVA.

The Arlington Front Page, right next to the mall in Ballston, will offer half-price appetizers and burgers, as well as $2 Miller Lights, $3 draft beers, $2.75 rail drinks $3.25 house wines and $4.50 John Daily’s (firefly & lemonade).

If you were going to go out to the bar to watch the game anyway, then maybe try and make a detour out to the Front Page and support BBMAR and BBVA.  You might just build good karma (for you or your team).

More about BBVA: Best Buddies is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to establishing a global volunteer movement that creates opportunities for one-to-one friendships, integrated employment and leadership development for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

More about BBMAR: With many young professional organizations in the area, this one is unique in that it offers the opportunity to support an organization with a population that is often neglected and misunderstood. Through BBMAR, professionals in their 20s and 30s can engage with like-minded individuals and raise support for programs that enhance the lives of people with intellectual disabilities through friendships and in the workplace. BBMAR will provide opportunities to attend networking events, professional development seminars and, most importantly, interact and participate with Best Buddies members in the various schools in the area.

It’s an amazing testament to the NFL’s drawing power that a team like the Redskins still have the following they do.  Since 1997, the ‘Skins have posted just three winning seasons, signed ineffective, aging former superstars to contracts for ungodly amounts of money, sued fans, tried to stop you from walking to the stadium, or at least made you pay for parking even if you didn’t drive, and have supported the nuttiness that is Daniel F. Snyder.

None of which has dissuaded the Redskins faithful.  It is still one of the most profitable sports franchises in the world, potentially racist logo and all, despite the many missteps of the past twelve years. Still they show up, not just paying the overly expensive face value for a ticket, but often paying 2-3 times that through the “secondary” market.  “Oh well” you’re thinking, “If this is what the market demands…”

But maybe it doesn’t.

Unfortunately, it looks like the ticket sales for the ‘Skins aren’t all they are cracked up to be-and it probably cost you a lot of extra dough to boot.  The Post reported today that the people in the Redskins ticket sales office sold lots and lots of tickets to brokers (which, as Deadspin points out, is a fancy way to say “scalper”) directly.  You know, rather than to fans who wanted to go to the game.

So guess what-if you bought a ticket from Stub Hub, or (like I did) Ebay and you paid more than face value for those tickets last year, there is a chance you got hosed.  Not just by the scalper, but by the Redskins as well.  Honestly, of all the anti-consumer, disloyal, unfriendly and just bad things you can do-this takes the cake.  In most states there are laws that prevent the sale of tickets directly to brokers to protect consumers from being over charged for the value of the ticket.  Creating a scarcity of tickets by not making them available directly to fans is abhorrent, and I’m kind of glad I’m not already a fan-because this wold be something that might put me over the edge.  The idea that I could have maybe bought my tickets for a fair price but couldn’t because the team I spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars a year on was complicit in this act?  Unconscionable!

The official story is that this was the act of rogue employees who have been “dealt with” (whatever the heck that means!) and that Snyder was shocked and outraged-but I remain skeptical.  Especially since the one broker who spoke with the post said he was offered the lower seats only if he bought more expensive ones as well.  It seems very possible that this was just an easier way to sell tickets, and create a demand around a franchise that, frankly, hasn’t been good for a long time.

Between the ‘Skins’ excuse that it was actually only a small portion of the actual tickets sold, and the “Broker’s” opinion that without him it would be really hard to get tickets I am about to lose the coffee I had for lunch.  This isn’t a case of someone buying a bunch of tickets to lift a TV ban so that folks can see the game-this is a case of the company you support actively ripping you off.

And it won’t matter.  Fans won’t see one dime of that money back, and the organization will continue to think of the next way to squeeze a dollar out them for, at best, a mediocre product.  And DC will just keep showing up.  Maybe the Nationals should triple their ticket prices and sell them exclusively on the secondary market-demand might go up.  Hopefully a team that is performing, like the Caps, will engender this kind of blind loyalty when they fall on bad times and under perform.  There is a lot mediocrity in DC sports, but the ‘Skins seem to be the only ones going out of their way to treat their fans like garbage.

In 1907, a young farm boy from Kansas took the field in for the Washington Nationals (although everyone called them the Senators) and began the greatest career a pitcher has ever had in baseball history.  Over 5,900 innings pitched and just over 2 runs earned per game.  417 wins, 110 shutouts and 531 complete games.  3,508 strikeouts.  Twice he was the American League MVP, and near his seventeenth year in the league, he won a World Series (the only one Washington has ever known).

Walter Johnson is a member of the inaugural class of the Baseball Hall of Fame and  is considered by many to be the most dominant pitcher ever.  And, according to this article from the NY Times 1914, he was offered the incredibly rich sum of $20,000 a year over three years to play in Chicago.  Now Clark Griffin, owner of the Nationals/Senators fought this with Johnson who didn’t honor his contract with Chicago-returning to Washington for the sum of $12,500.

Adjusting for inflation, the far more generous sum of $20,000 works out to $430,702.  Assuming his twenty year career earned him $20,000 a year (which it certainly did not) he would have made $400,000 dollars all told (That’s $8.6 million converting from 1914 to 2009 money).

Last night, Stephen Strasburg signed a 4 year $15 million dollar deal including a $7.5 million dollar bonus.  In one fell swoop, a 21 year old pitcher who has never taken a major league field has already surpassed the career earnings of one of the game’s (and certainly Washington’s) greatest sports legends.  By the end of next year, whether he does well or not, he will have earned more than the Big Train’s adjusted career earnings as well.

Of course this isn’t a particularly fair comparison-baseball at the turn of the century is a completely different animal than baseball today.  And to put Walter Johnson’s career in front of a young guy like Strasburg and say “Do this”-well you might as well ask a flashlight to out perform the sun.  That said, this deal is done.  Boras and Co. have made this young man very rich, and expectations will be (and should be) high even without comparing him to Johnson.

As unfair as it is, I am making the comparison anyway-and I will be expecting monumental things from Mr. Strasburg.  Or at least $15 million worth of pitching over the next four years.