As if DC wasn’t smart enough, we seem to be getting even smarter. Aren’t we considered to be the most educated city on the planet or sumthin’? Well leave it to us to be early adopters of the space saving, environmentally friendly Smart car. Made by Mercedes and starting at just $11,590, this little scooter is likely to be the next Mini Cooper, that is, you’re going to start to see them zooming around everywhere. I remember the first time I saw one of these in London about five years ago, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “You can actually drive that thing? A grown adult can actually fit in there?” Amazingly, they have more room inside than you might think, although you probably won’t be using it to take that new 50″ flat screen TV home from Costco. The beauty of these cars, especially for those of us who have to deal with parallel parking on a Friday night, is that they’ll fit into the smallest of spots that even a Mini couldn’t fit into.

While probably not the safest car to be in with a Hummer speeding behind you, the Smart is a brilliant car designed for city dwellers like us and I expect to see them flood the area over the next few years.

Photo by yospyn.

image courtesy of Drsnaut

You might think me lazy but really I’m just impatient. Trying to get into the swing of rail commuting, I find myself somewhat put off by the mile and a half stroll from my house to the metro stop. I enjoy the walk, but to get there to catch the early enough train so I can catch the early enough shuttle means I need to be up and our of bed earlier than I want.

Okay, so I’m impatient and lazy.

So I was kinda interested to see a recent entry in Kevin Kelly’s Cool Tools for the Strida folding bicycle. Every folding bike I have ever seen has been, to put it as kindly as I can manage, a complete turd. This one is seems pretty nifty, at least so far as its transportability once folded. I’m not sure I think it looks very ridable - and I’m even less sure I’m willing to pay $500 just to shave 15 minutes off my morning - but I wondered if in a city with as many commuters as we have, have any of you seen any of these around town?

Or do you use any kind of wheeled contraption to speed your trip? If they made razor scooters with slightly more robust wheels I’d be tempted just to get one of those. At $30 or so they seem a lot more palatable for a cheapskate like me…

While at the Kabuki at the Warner Theatre last night (which was excellent, even though I didn’t understand a word of Japanese), I had felt that nature called during intermission, and wandered to the less crowded restroom in the basement. Besides the overpowering odor seemingly seeping from the tiles (I thought this was a “high brow venue” not porta potties at the Virgin Festival), I did my business and moved along to wash up. No sooner than two squirts of whatever they call soap there, I hear over my shoulder…

“How are you enjoying the show Mr. Libby?”

I look to my right, and at about 5′6″, with that annoying grin on his face, stands I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby. I’m a fan of Jim Henson’s Muppets, and he sure as hell doesn’t look like Scooter. I come to the realization, that no matter how powerful, or how far you fall from that power for whatever reason, you still have to have a place to do a #1 or a #2. Funny, that a schlum like me gets to share the same, um, “airspace” with somebody who had it all, and suddenly doesn’t. But that’s D.C., right?

I wonder if he will read our blog, and maybe take advantage of the suggested “escapes” from D.C.? If he sticks around D.C. longer, maybe he can also get together with another convicted D.C. felon on his radio show, maybe call it “Liddy and Libby“?

By now, I’m sure, you’ve heard all about the commutation of the sentence of Scooter Libby by President Bush. Instead of two and a half years in the pokey for obstructing a Justice Department investigation, he’s getting off without jailtime, just a quarter million in fines, as well as a significant legal bill, both of which likely will be paid by friends of Libby and political allies. Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) has come out to suggest that history will judge President Bush harshly for his abuse of power, and I suspect over the coming days, the words will only get harsher. I’m sure by week’s end, we’ll be hearing all about how this decision is a violation of lady Justice with a baseball bat.

But it’s all just Washington Justice. Reagan pardoned Weinberger pre-emptively. Clinton pardoned Mark Rich in his last weeks of office. Nixon was pardoned by Ford. It’s Washington Justice.

Pardon those who sin in office, for the American Public cannot abide a politician in jail.

Unless he’s Jim Traficant.

Every city has its own version of the Fall Guy. In Sports right now, it’s Barry Bonds’ trainer, now serving jailtime to protect Barry Bonds, for reasons no one can fathom. In Art, it might be the curator of the Getty, taking the fall for the art world’s bizarre problems of dealing with stolen paintings. Today in Politics, it’s Scooter Libby, who’s fallen on his own sword, and is now found guilty on four of the five counts, and likely faces 18 months to 3 years in federal pound me in the ass prison for something resembling a coverup of who leaked Valerie Plame’s identity to reporters. Some say he’s covering for Karl Rove. Some say he’s covering for Dick Cheney. Either way, he faces DC’s most unlikely outcome: jailtime for breaking the laws here, not making them.

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Today’s 15th and I Street bicycle rack bike pack is a parking problem everyone should love.

Cyclists should celebrate the full take over of the bike rack - not a scooter in sight. Drivers should be thrilled with so many less cars crowding their DC commute.

I am excited that my bicycle is in the pack. Tonight I ride the Mt Vernon Trail!

Based on an increased awareness of pollution/global warming - and with gas prices what they have been - I’ve noticed an increase in the number of scooters being used around the metro area. I find myself experiencing mixed feelings about this…

On the one hand, they seem like a great way to get around if you plan on sticking to a particular area, and don’t want to use your car. I’ve seen a lot of people using them in Ballston and Clarendon - zipping from their homes to the grocery store and back again. I admit I wish I had a Vespa and could join the ranks - it might make my trips for morning coffee a bit more interesting.

On the other hand, this is what I don’t like about these machines. The scooter is not quite a motorcycle, but often requires a motorcycle-operator license; particularly with some reaching top speeds over 50 mph (according to a colleague of mine who owns one). Since you can’t ride a bicycle on the sidewalks - I guess because they are considered to fast and a risk to pedestrian safety - you definitely have to ride your scooter in the street. But when I find myself behind one, driving below the speed limit, on a two-lane road, with no passing zones - I really am at a loss because vehicular assault is still a crime.

I have no problem giving bicycles a wide berth and passing on the left. Doing the same with a scooter I assume is illegal unless I’m in a passing zone. Is this right?

Do you ride a scooter around town? Maybe even irking me by parking it on the sidewalk? Better yet, do you have passion for your scooter? Do you follow scooter related news, covet the newest Vespas or the oldest vintage Lambrettas? Might you think scootering is “counter culture”?

Then you may be a scooterist, and you should be reading the Washington Metro Area Scooter Authority. There, not only will you find info about scootering in DC, but also two very interesting developments.

First, Rob Downs, the man behind the site, has developed a stolen scooter map. Here you can track DC’s apparently rampant scooter theft and scooter jacking problem. Rob codes each theft himself, an amazing task he’s looking for help to automate, and has thefts/jacks back to 2002.

Scooterist Rally

Next, you can learn about fascinating scooter rallies, where scooterists from all over converge and.. scoot? The last one drew 250 two-wheeling fools. Also, Rob is putting together a cross country ride, from Portland to NYC, that he hopes will end better than last year - he was rear-ended by a semi-truck after riding 2700+ miles. Ouch!

Last but not least, you can learn the difference between a scooter and a moped: mopeds have pedals, scooters and motorcycles do not. The DC MPD draws the line at horsepower & speed, those too small and slow aren’t even mopeds, they are “motorized bicycles”. The rest are treated as motorcycles.

So DC scooterists, don’t go tag-free scootering in the District, you could lose your sweet ride.

Photo by DC Metroblogger

My dear DC mopedists, being the vocal group that you are, always in quick defense of scooters city-wide, I have a question for you:

Why is this moped without a license plate?

It is a motor vehicle, right? You are required to have a driver’s license to operate it, correct? Then where is the license plate to uniquely identify it and record its proper registration with the organs of Government?

Has DC DMV reached a new dysfunctional low and not produced plates for wanna-be motorcycles? Or does the DC Council not care to require tags for this petroleum-powered human transporter? Inquiring minds wanna know

Thanks much to commenter BAV for pointing out that not only did Borf plead guilty today, so did the cell phone bandit. That puts the trifecta in play. Does Scooter plead guilty tomorrow? Jack Abramoff? Who completes this odd trinity?