Are The Nationals a 600 lbs J-Lo Look-a-like?

"Yep-I said it.  For Real"

"Yep-I said it. For Real"

“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavárez said on Sunday. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”

I’m sorry…what???  I have to admit when I first read this I thought Deadspin was just messing around-but no it was in the WaPo too.

I really don’t know what to do with this quote-On one hand it’s incredibly sexist and demeaning to a team that just signed him to a contract.

At the same token-he’s exactly right.  What does it say about the Nations team if a fella needs to get drunk and desperate to sign on the dotted line?  Isn’t the Nationals money just as green?  And why would you say that about someone who just hired your stupid “couldn’t get hired” ass?

Of course he’s going to be in the minors for a while, but the good news for the lonely and desperate is that if you are looking to hook up with a MLB player your chances will greatly increase when he gets brought up to play in the bigs.  I’m guessing a lot of weekend sightings at Adam’s Morgan for Mr. Tavárez, and if you the reader, are willing to put aside some self-respect, then you can very easily play on his self-esteem.

In the comments leave thoughts on pick up lines he’d use, pick up lines someone else would use on him and any “make fun of Tavárez when he gets to DC” signage you can think of.

2 Comments so far

  1. somejackass on March 17th, 2009 @ 8:39 am

    Sports, sports, sports, doesn’t anything else happen in this town?

    Oh. Sports and Brangelina. Got it.


  2. Patrick (dmbosstone) on March 17th, 2009 @ 8:52 am

    Let’s not forget this is the same guy who broke his hand punching a solid cement wall with the Cardinals.



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