Preparation for the Pope Parade

Sign Man

This is it, the moment that Vatican Sign Man has been waiting for. Finally, a chance to show the Holy Father himself the homemade sign that he’s been carrying across town and waving at traffic on Mass Ave for years now. You’ve seen him on the Metro with his five foot sign, standing there amidst the crowd as if everything is perfectly normal. He seems like a nice old man but deep inside that brain of his there are probably a few synapses that aren’t quite firing. As the train doors open at the Dupont Circle station, he heads towards the exit at a pace that isn’t quite a sprint but definitely isn’t a walk, on his way to his spot on Mass Ave to let the world know that according to him, the Vatican hides pedophiles. I would love to do an interview with him and find out just where they’re hiding them. In the Holy Basement?

What do you think the chances are that Vatican Sign Man “disappears” over the next few days seeing as how:

    “Following a meeting with President Bush at the White House on April 16, the Holy Father will leave the White House in the popemobile at approximately noon via East Executive Avenue, travel west on Pennsylvania Avenue past Washington Circle, and then north on Rock Creek Parkway before exiting at Massachusetts Avenue. He will conclude his trip at the papal nunciature located at Observatory Circle where he will enjoy a lunch with the United States cardinals and others in honor of his 81st birthday.”

Um, happy birthday your Holy Popeness.

3 Comments so far

  1. fonzy on April 17th, 2008 @ 2:00 pm

    Let’s not be to quick to judge this man. His name is actually John. And, I imagine that you were not raped by your childhood priest like this man. He’s probably the only true protester in DC, and rightfully so.

    Jokes aside, don’t be a John Madden and try to guess what he is thinking.

  2. Max (mcook) on April 17th, 2008 @ 2:23 pm

    Hey, thanks. I didn’t know his name.

    Everyone has a story, but that doesn’t mean we have to obsess over it. Does he really think that by holding a sign in front of the Vatican Embassy that the church will suddenly change their ways or say that they’re sorry or, "Yes, why in fact we do hide pedophiles. Thanks for noticing." I mean most of the general public knows that there have been some fishy things going on behind closed doors between clergymen and children. Newsflash!

    And what do you mean by DC’s only "true protester"? What constitutes a "fake protester"?

    I’d be happy to do an interview with him if you can arrange one, that way I won’t have to guess what he’s thinking.

  3. starship on April 18th, 2008 @ 9:07 am

    I guess he has every right to do this.
    He does no harm to anyone. Sometimes when I drive through Mass. Ave when he is no there I kind of miss him.

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