The Internet Is For Porn. But Not At Work, Perverts!


the booby dance

Originally uploaded by matt duke.

Mayor Fenty announced this afternoon that the District Government fired 9 people today for extensive porn viewing at the workplace. But, that’s not the fun part. The fun part is this: “Each of the nine employees clicked on porn sites more than 19,000 times last year, according to the results of an internal investigation of 10,000 government computers, officials said. Three visited such sites more than 39,000 times apiece last year, the investigation found.”

Good fucking God, people. That’s a LOT of porn. The top offender was over 50,000 times in a year.

Something’s wrong here. 50,000 times in 250 day year is 200 times a day. Or, about once every two minutes for an eight hour work day. This can’t be pageviews. This has to be something on the order of the difference between hits and pageviews when it comes to measuring web statistics. At a bare minimum. Otherwise, that’s just insane.

Anyhow, they’re filtering the internet in DC offices now, so you don’t have to worry about needing to hose the desks down with Lysol. Well. Maybe you should anyway. Because they still kept a bunch of people who had less than 10,000 viewings in a year. Which is still 40 times in a working day.

I’ve never been so skeeved out than when I heard one of my old coworkers tell the story about the VP who liked gay porn on in the background while he worked in a shared office. Seriously. Keep it at home.

6 Comments so far

  1. Joseph LeBlanc (unregistered) on January 24th, 2008 @ 8:56 am

    I also doubt they’re pageviews. There are a lot of things that can drive up hit counts, especially when you’re dealing with spyware driven sites that can make dozens of "hits" (AJAX calls, popups, etc…) for a single "page."


  2. Don (unregistered) on January 24th, 2008 @ 12:07 pm

    Hope _I_ don’t get fired – I went and looked at Matt Duke’s pictures on your linked photo – and the first bunch in his stream are some nude studies!


  3. 2DCworkers1cup (unregistered) on January 24th, 2008 @ 4:14 pm

    Were the computers laptops that they took home? Otherwise, how do you get away with all that porn in the office?


  4. webolutionary (unregistered) on January 24th, 2008 @ 5:08 pm

    So I just sent this to my boss over IM. His reply: "wow… I don’t do half that much"

    LOL, ROFL, LMFAO, etc.


  5. 2DCworkers1cup (unregistered) on January 25th, 2008 @ 2:21 pm

    An IT-manager-for-a-major-university friend says:

    Almost certainly their investigation analyzed network logs — the computer could have easily accessed that number of URLs. Likely, the total numbers they were seeing were the total number of connections (or hits) required for each page to load. So, if a given porn page had a lot of images on it, then the surfer may have only clicked on 5-6 pages a day, if they had 30-50 images on each page. If someone who won’t get in trouble for it can check with some porn sites, look at "page information" in your browser – then look at media/links and you’ll see the number of items that must be fetched on that page. My guess is a lot of the free porn sites are loaded with many many images (many of which are ads).

    So, although they said that each of the nine "clicked on porn sites more than 19,000 times…", more likely they were opening a few pages a day. Maybe for them, they check those sites the way we might open a stock ticker page, or the weather…

    The government manager types probably wanted to fire those nine which might be hard to do in a bureaucracy, and they found a great vehicle to do so. Either on purpose, or not, they didn’t distinguish between active clicks by employee and the passive connections resulting from active clicks, where each active click could easily generate 40 connections. The other party to this story is our beloved 4th estate. Journalists need to eat, and I don’t think they’re known for letting let the facts get in the way of selling that sexy sounding story… :-)


  6. Don (unregistered) on January 25th, 2008 @ 4:49 pm

    I have nothing to contribute to this discussion other than to say how much the signature 2DCworkers1cup tickles me.



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