Way to promote the lifestyle, folks.

A different Wilford Brimley like-a-look

So I’ve walked out of my office in search of coffee and notice that there’s a Red Cross van parked just down the way. They’ve been after me to donate – I’m several months overdue – and I don’t have any meetings in the next few hours so I figure what the heck, I’ll go do it now.

When I round the big ol’ van to where the entrance is, however, I find a few stacks of boxes and tables, the doors closed… and Wilford Brimley’s younger, pudgier brother standing outside in his t-shirt and jean shorts, smoking a cigarette. He informs me they won’t be up and running till 10am, so I thank him kindly and leave him to his tobacco.

I wonder if I can target my donation for him? Hopefully they don’t ask you to be specific about the surgery itself since I’m unsure if they’ll need it for lung replacement or angioplasty.

6 Comments so far

  1. c (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 10:08 am

    Geez man, get over yourself. So you don’t smoke AND you donate blood, good for you.

    Now you can you actually write about the goings on in our fair city?

  2. Don (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 10:15 am

    Unless I woke up drunk in the wrong state again (and that rarely happens more than twice in the same week) I am pretty sure this did indeed happen here in our fair metropolis.

    Personally I could give a shit if the dude smokes, eats nothing but sausage, bungee jumps, shares needles with heroin addicts, and screws hookers with open sores. All at once, even. But it makes me laugh to see him do any of it while standing in front of the Red Cross van.

  3. RumorsDaily (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 10:22 am

    I thought the Red Cross dealt with emergencies and catastrophes, not ordinary "you shouldn’t smoke" stuff. That being the case, I didn’t understand your complaint.

    On another note, it’s weird that they wouldn’t open until 10. It seems like they’d want to catch the rush hour crowd.

  4. nigelmoose (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 10:57 am

    Where is the van? I work downtown and have been wanting to donate.

  5. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 11:25 am

    I thought the Red Cross might let you earmark your blood donation for nonsmokers. I would do that if I could. Smokers are a blight on society and a constant source of monetary drain for those of us who support the health industry through either taxes or insurance premiums. Or both.

    People who consciously commit suicide by cigarette should go to the bottom of the list when it comes to things like blood transfusions or other medical treatments, unless they are willing to give up the cancer sticks.

  6. Don (unregistered) on October 11th, 2007 @ 2:33 pm

    Nigel, if the centers listed on the web page aren’t convenient for you then you can use the same link on that page to find a blood drive near you. Listings on that search will actually show the fixed locations too, so you might want to use it no matter what, just to see where and what times are available to you.

    Rumors, although that’s how they started out, they have expanded somewhat. From the national Red Cross’ About Us page:

    Since its founding in 1881 by visionary leader Clara Barton, the American Red Cross has been the nation’s premier emergency response organization. As part of a worldwide movement that offers neutral humanitarian care to the victims of war, the American Red Cross distinguished itself by also aiding victims of devastating natural disasters. Over the years, the organization has expanded its services, always with the aim of preventing and relieving suffering.

    Today, in addition to domestic disaster relief, the American Red Cross offers compassionate services in five other areas: community services that help the needy; support and comfort for military members and their families; the collection, processing and distribution of lifesaving blood and blood products; educational programs that promote health and safety; and international relief and development programs.

    Carl, actually transplant recipients usually do have to quit the cancer sticks to be on the list. Though the UNOS listing doesn’t require it it’s apparently a fairly common practice at centers to insist patients quit. Even if they don’t, your ranking on the UNOS list is based on part on your condition and odds of surviving, so there’s a decent chance smokers wouldn’t get to the top of the list.

    Then again, neither would drunks like me….

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