Where’s the Beef?


My salivary glands are usually on overload when I wander around a Whole Foods, or what others refer to as “Whole Paycheck”. That’s not to say I’m slobbering on their fresh ears of corn in the summer or drooling on their humanely raised meat display case, but compared to places such as Safeway, it’s like a little grocery oasis in the city.

That is until I stumbled upon this little goody: “Meatless Nuggets”.

I’m all for those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan, whether they do so because they’re against animal cruelty, against polluting our environment, or just because they think it’s a healthier lifestyle. But do you have to name your food items with such strange names like “meatless nuggets”, “Tofurkey”, or “egg replacer”? It’s like us carnivores coming up with food names like “sinewy stew”, “meaty morsels”, or “SPAM”.

Just out of curiosity, can someone tell me what a “meatless nugget” consists of?

11 Comments so far

  1. RumorsDaily (unregistered) on October 4th, 2007 @ 8:01 pm


  2. Emily Booth (unregistered) on October 4th, 2007 @ 8:05 pm

    It’s probably made of seitan, which is a meat substitute made from a high-protein flour called Vital Wheat Gluten. It’s what many Chinese restaurants use instead of chicken and beef when you (well, probably not you, persay) order faux meat dishes. It’s really quite tasty. Much meatier and substantial than tofu.

  3. Max (unregistered) on October 4th, 2007 @ 10:18 pm

    Seitan, eh? Sounds an awful lot like what would be in "Satan Snacks".

  4. David (unregistered) on October 4th, 2007 @ 11:20 pm

    Well, I think the "Meatless Nuggets" were a better marketing choice than calling them "Seitans Balls"…. get it?!

    Demon seed of food!

  5. Don (unregistered) on October 5th, 2007 @ 9:44 am

    Heh heh heh, seed.

  6. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on October 8th, 2007 @ 10:46 pm

    I think they are made from fish.

  7. Joshua (unregistered) on October 9th, 2007 @ 5:50 pm

    Fish is still meat, I think, thus pescatarian. But I agree that vegatarians have to come up with their own names for things. "Fake bacon" or "Facon" does an injustice to pigs, just like "Tofurkey" makes turkeys everywhere gobble with anger. If you’re really devoted to non meat, you don’t need to call it "fake meat." Instead, call it "real kurd" or "tofu shaped like a Turkey." Those names would be acceptable to me.

  8. W B (unregistered) on October 10th, 2007 @ 2:20 pm

    Either tofu or TVP (textured vegetable protein)…I guess.

    Did you know there are meat free corn dogs? Pretty tastey.

  9. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on October 10th, 2007 @ 10:04 pm

    I still haven’t tried the meatless corn dogs. Sounds yummy!

  10. Prontovega (unregistered) on October 13th, 2007 @ 2:36 pm

    I think they might be small deep fried balloons in a savory egg batter with a hint of garlic!

  11. Prontovega (unregistered) on October 13th, 2007 @ 5:34 pm

    If you look above the meatless nuggets sign, there is one that looks like the small head of a camel or something with a big black eye. He looks like he’s trying to get a drink of the orange goop. One of his other buddies already tried and met a grisly fate.

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