Walk Much or Just Read About It?

This town, maybe America as a whole, is in serious need of some sidewalk etiquette training.

Let me set the scene. You’re walking down a sidewalk, not a very busy one in fact. The only people involved are you and the group of 2-4 people coming your way. You, being courteous and mindful of other peoples’ space, are walking on the right side of the sidewalk, much like you drive on the right side of the road. You clearly see the other people coming and want to make it easy for them to pass by you. Sound good so far?

Here’s where the problem is. The other people seem to think that either:

a) They own the sidewalk and can do as they please.
b) Their conversation about how Dave didn’t call Jenny back last night is more important than making room for you to pass.
c) You have your invisible cloak on and they have no idea that you’re coming the other way.
d) They’re just rude and deserve to be that way, so deal with it.

Oh no you didn’t! Listen up people. You had better hope that, male or female, you wore your shirt with extra shoulder padding in it because my shoulder is pretty tough and it’s going to introduce itself to yours. And if that does happen, don’t give me a look of disgust. Instead stop and think about what just transpired. There are other people living in this world of yours and you have to respect their personal space! If you can’t grasp this concept, feel free to move to NYC or start bulking those shoulders up.

Ahhhh. I feel much better.

9 Comments so far

  1. EdTheRed (unregistered) on July 6th, 2007 @ 4:30 pm

    Oh yeah, I’ve quite literally run into this problem on many occasions…normally, I just roll my eyes and turn myself sideways; other times, I just come to a complete halt and stand there staring at them (especially if, as is often the case, the alternative is for me to step out into the street)…but when I’m in a truly bad mood, I just lower my shoulder and let the bastards bounce off of me. I’m 6’2″, 220, so bounce they do.


  2. Max (unregistered) on July 6th, 2007 @ 4:35 pm

    Amen brother!


  3. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on July 6th, 2007 @ 4:54 pm

    This is why it’s great to be a big guy. I have been known to do the same thing. This really burns my ass.


  4. Tiff (unregistered) on July 7th, 2007 @ 9:47 am

    The linebacker approach, alas, does not work for me. I’m 5’0 and just under eye-level for most people. So as I approach, they just don’t notice and trip over me. But I HATE it when people take up the whole sidewalk. I especially hate it when they take up the whole sidewalk and walk SLOWLY.


  5. Max (unregistered) on July 7th, 2007 @ 10:43 am

    Amen sister! Crouch down and elbow them in the gut instead.


  6. Ollie (unregistered) on July 7th, 2007 @ 12:49 pm

    Hello. If there’s 2 of you walking side by side, and just one of me wanting to get by, one of YOU needs to get into single file. Why is that such a hard thing to do? Is it so traumatic for you to be separated from your skeezy boyfriend for 2 seconds?

    Oh, and this goes double for couples pushing a stroller. God, I hate kids.


  7. Ollie (unregistered) on July 7th, 2007 @ 12:50 pm

    Hello. If there’s 2 of you walking side by side, and just one of me wanting to get by, one of YOU needs to get into single file. Why is that such a hard thing to do? Is it so traumatic for you to be separated from your skeezy boyfriend for 2 seconds?

    Oh, and this goes double for couples pushing a stroller. God, I hate kids.


  8. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on July 7th, 2007 @ 11:14 pm

    Ollie – we were all little bastards way back when. Have some compassion for the wee ones and their bleary-eyed sleep-deprived parents.

    That said, spot on. Everyone wants to be within sight of their little snookums baby or whatever cutesy crap they call the kid but that shouldn’t take a front seat to courtesy.


  9. Daniel (unregistered) on July 10th, 2007 @ 1:56 pm

    Ah, my favorite topic. As much as people can’t seem to drive, they walk even worse (lack of practice I suspect). That and we suffer from the cult of me, where everyone else is supposed to bend backwards to your needs and desire. And even moreso since people are just not aware of their environment.



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