Psycho-Monkey Mom Alert in Montgomery County

monkey lady

Have you heard about the Montgomery County “Monkey Woman”, Elyse Gazewitz, who is fighting to free her monkey, Armani, from county banishment?

While I don’t care if the powers at be say that Armani is illegal and seized him for extradition to an animal sanctuary “where a monkey can live as a monkey,” what strikes me as odd about this whole situation is Gazewitz’s commitment to her capuchin monkey man:

Gazewitz said she had made preparations this week for a homecoming, stocking up on Armani’s favorite bananas and apples. She has left his room — she built a $4,000 addition onto her home just for him, she said — untouched since he was seized.

Waiting for him are a little hammock, tire swings and infant toys. She also has his Huggies diapers (with holes cut out for his tail), his Osh Kosh B’Gosh outfits and baby bottles ready to go. “I have his little Tigger on my bed, and I have the little baby blanket that he loves,” Gazewitz said.

Pet owners, dog people, cat people, even guppy Dad’s, what do you think about that commitment to an animal, “wild” or not? I say its freaky-deeky.

To build a whole house addition with all the accruements mentioned, is a huge sign of addiction beyond the normal cat lady eccentrics or doggy mansion overbuilds. That says this lady is thinking monkey = child and going all gonzo over a primate.

That no matter what the Animal Matters Hearing Board says, maybe its best that Elyse Gazewitz be separated from her “little boy” and seek counseling for psycho-level anthropomorphism.

14 Comments so far

  1. Ex-Hy Hy (unregistered) on June 7th, 2007 @ 10:45 am

    Eek, judging by that mullet and face that can stop a bullet, it’s no wonder this woman has serious child-substitution issues.


  2. Don (unregistered) on June 7th, 2007 @ 11:49 am

    Man, talk about adding insult on top of injury. “She must continue to pay a monthly fee of $1,344 to house Armani at the Thurmont zoo while her appeal is pending.”

    I want to know what WaPo was thinking when they ran this article w/o a picture of Armani. A picture of a bunch of reporters sticking their mics in this woman’s face rather than one of a cute lil’ monkey? Fire the photo editor!


  3. Wayan (unregistered) on June 7th, 2007 @ 12:04 pm

    She is just scary: The monkey, whom she calls her baby and ‘little boy’


  4. Tiff (unregistered) on June 7th, 2007 @ 3:53 pm

    I would never build an addition onto my house for my cats. But that said, if I were getting them back after they had been taken from me, I probably would indeed buy treats and an extra feather toy and scratching post and whatnot.

    And dude, if you’re going to keep a monkey, you need the diapers unless it’s toilet trained. Duh. Don’t you know what monkeys do with feces?


  5. Wayan (unregistered) on June 7th, 2007 @ 5:18 pm

    “Don’t you know what monkeys do with feces?”

    Reason number 3,529 why is psycho to be building additions for a child surrogate or letting someone who does keep a monkey.


  6. guava b (unregistered) on June 15th, 2007 @ 5:50 pm

    Too bad the media is only getting one side of the story. I lived with this manipulative woman until right before she got Armani…..Jan 2007. She is telling so many lies (as usual) to get people to feel sorry for her. As for the “addition” she built onto her house – it was already there…she just added the jungle gym.


  7. guava b (unregistered) on June 20th, 2007 @ 10:45 am

    Please forgive my previous posting. I allowed personal jealousies to get the best of me. I know this is not a personal matter, and Elyse doesn’t deserve any bad comments or press. The story is about Armani and a getting him home.


  8. Wayan (unregistered) on June 20th, 2007 @ 11:06 am

    What happened Guava, the crazy monkey lady come after you with a banana and a stick? Sounds like it to me. Especially if you say she’s manipulative.


  9. JANE HAFKER (unregistered) on June 20th, 2007 @ 6:53 pm

    This is a complete sociopathic concocted fraud on the part of some guy named “Wayan”.

    He writes this creepy pet hating verbal vomit about a woman and her beloved pet, and then proceeds to write as three of four people within minutes of creating the piece of crap in the first place.

    Then he joins in with he posters pretends to be a new poster who says heLIVED WITH ELYSE until a few months ago, and that she is a crazy liar.

    HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS DERANGED HUMAN, AND THIS FOUL AND OFFENSIVE WEB SITE.
    I AM FORWARDING THIS WEB SITE TO GAZEWITZ’S ATTORNEY, AND REPORTING IT TO METBLOGS.

    BEWARE OF THE NET. IT IS FILLED WITH THE OUTPOURINGS OF HUMANS WHO ARE BARELY HUMAN TO BEGIN WITH, WHO TAKE A BREAK FROM PORN SITES TO INVADE THE WORLD OF REAL HUMANS.


  10. Tom Bridge (unregistered) on June 20th, 2007 @ 10:30 pm

    Jane. Please, for the love, take your meds.


  11. Wayan (unregistered) on June 20th, 2007 @ 10:33 pm

    Jane,

    Unlike your crazy-psycho stupidity, I am very much a sane, non-mascaraing guy who loves animals, even pets.

    What worries me greatly are people who write in ALL CAPS who resort to personal attacks and attorney threats when faced when the cold harsh reality they are cra-zy.

    Get a grip or better yet get yourself to the Human Society. There you might come to understand that Gazewitz is monkey-love nuts-o and maybe, so are you.


  12. Wayan (unregistered) on June 21st, 2007 @ 8:55 am

    And hot on the heels of Jane, psycho monkey Mom is back in the news today:

    In a six-page opinion issued late Tuesday, the county’s Animal Matters Hearing Board rejected Gazewitz’s claim that she owned Armani in May 2006, the state’s cutoff date for having a pet monkey. Instead, the panel members said they believed veterinary and zoo reports that Armani is 5 months old, too young for Gazewitz to have owned him more than a year ago.

    Gazewitz said she will appeal the ruling to Montgomery Circuit Court. “They don’t care,” Gazewitz said yesterday of the board’s decision. “He’s just a monkey to them. To me, he’s everything. My life is miserable.”


  13. Don (unregistered) on June 21st, 2007 @ 9:27 am

    Jane’s nuts, I never take a break from the porn sites.

    Bow-chicka-wow-wow. Somebody order a pizza?


  14. Carole (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 11:15 am

    Why is everyone dumping on Ms. Gazewitz? I don’t think she is crazy at all. When you have take an animal into your home and your life it should be part of your family–not JUST A PET. We have a cat and a dog and they are as important to us as our children. People who don’t feel that way should never have animals. I’m rooting for Elyse!!!



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