HSARPA Says: Cellphones as Bomb Detectors!

fallout.pngHave you ever talked to someone who works for a particular department of the government and walked away from the conversation thinking, “Oh God, Oh God, We’re all going to Die?”

Because I think that anyone who reads Homeland Security’s latest idea on how to make us safer will probably stop their Suspension of Disbelief, and start gawking in horror. See, they want to put patches of special material on all cellphones that will respond in a visible fashion to radiation, specific strains of bacteria (ie, bioweapons) or chemicals. The guys over at DHS want to mae your cellphone into a giant hysteria machine just waiting to happen.

You know that one coworker who gets all freaked out when the terror alert level changes? We all have one. They get all squirrelly and nervous. Can you imagine what this person would do when they saw a cellphone set off by an X-ray detector, or getting too near the radiology unit at a hospital, or accidentally getting a drop of chlorine on yourself when you’re re-balancing the Ph in your pool.

Please, for the love of God, make us actually safer, not subjected to more things that may make us feel safer. Security theatre sucks, okay. I think we’ve proved that at the airports across the USA.

1 Comment so far

  1. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on May 9th, 2007 @ 12:45 pm

    But Tom, felling safer is being safer. Didn’t you get the memo? If Dr. Zaius says you are safe, then you are, regardless of the evidence. It’s control through fear.

    THe last coworker I had like that I finally told to settle down and that we were all going to die anyway so shut the heck up. It was the ultimate satori moment. She looked like she had never considered that before and went from curious to pondering to anxious as hell to terrified. I felt bad for a moment but at least she left me alone until I left the company.

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