I hate mulch

I love the arrival of spring, except for this one thing: the ubiquitous stink of new mulch everywhere. I lack words for how much I loathe the way it smells. I think I’d prefer if they fertilized everything with cow manure. Why does it smell so bad? What’s the magic ingredient of suck that goes into mulch to make it so repugnant? Fresh mown grass? Fantastic. Sawdust? To a woodworker like me, it smells like home.

Mulch? I am certain that’s what Satan’s armpits smell like after a long day of tormenting souls in on of the hotter parts of Hades. On the day he forgot his anti-persperant.

4 Comments so far

  1. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on April 9th, 2007 @ 6:57 pm

    Mulch sure does stink, Don. I don’t hate it as much as you do but I am glad it only comes around once per year, like birthdays and the goddamned Easter bunny at the malls.

  2. Doug (unregistered) on April 9th, 2007 @ 9:18 pm

    I’ve noticed this too, only the smell isn’t natural. Do they grind up telephone poles or landscaping rail ties as part of the mix? That’s what it smells like to me (chromated copper arsenic), nasty, pressure treated wood.

  3. sa-ra (unregistered) on April 9th, 2007 @ 9:30 pm

    i have to not smell it tomorrow then. sounds horrible. maybe they wanna disattract pets that way.

  4. Breaux (unregistered) on April 9th, 2007 @ 10:33 pm

    Yea it’s a pretty terrible smell wafting through DC this time of year. You can’t really get around it though, ho hum.

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