Nats Whimsy

While Spring Training records aren’t too valuable, and not always a good indicator of final season performance, starting out 1-5, and the only victory coming against a split-squad portion of the Braves organization, one could say that the Spring isn’t going too well for our boys in blue & red. Fortunately, most of the Nats fans have kept their good humor in play…

As written by Tom Bridge & Adam Terio, with sincere apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan…

I am the very model of a modern DC Baseball Fan
I sing the praises of the game as well as Thomas Boswell can
There’s Schneider, Johnson, Patterson, Cordero, Guzman, Zimmerman
And those are just the ones approved by Jimmy Bo and Brother Stan…


My acumen of baseball is both current and historical
I know the details of the game, arcane and categorical
Of players I can quote you biographic and statistical
And speak of Sabermetrics in a way that’s nearly mystical

Like any baseball fan I have my share of rare collectibles
Autographs and souvenirs both random and respectible
An effigy of Linda Cropp that’s strangled with a garden hose
I keep it with the voodoo doll I have of Peter Angelos

Our stadium is lacking in refinements architectural
And efforts to improve it have been largely ineffectual
The cognoscenti told us that it was a pitcher’s fantasy
But Soriano disabused us of this utter fallacy

Though patiently I’m waiting for the Nationals’ ascendency
Out to the Anacostia I look with great expectency
With Schneider, Johnson, Patterson, Cordero, Guzman, Zimmerman
I am the very model of a modern DC Baseball Fan

2 Comments so far

  1. Carl Weaver (unregistered) on March 6th, 2007 @ 6:07 pm

    Tom, I don’t give a hoot in a handbasket about baseball, but I am a big fan of this particular tune. You guys did an incredible job creating new lyrics to a classic that is close to both my heart and my funnybone. If that’s possible.


  2. Joe (unregistered) on March 7th, 2007 @ 12:30 pm

    Having once performed in a college production of H.M.S. Pinafore, this really made me smile. Brilliant!

    We need more baseball songs for the Nationals.



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