Deer Hunter: I Wanna Be One Too

I want to hunt deer. I want to get all camouflage early in the morning and hunt Bambi and his parents. I want to strike down another living being with death I unleash at my will.

Regular readers may be shocked that I, the most anti-gun guy, would want to kill. But I do. I want to hunt my own meat. Kill my dinner. And have fresh venison in my freezer.

Why? How could an ex-vegetarian, ex-vegan, even, have such a change of heart? I ask you how any self-respecting omnivore cannot want to dine on her own rewards? At least you have control over your meal – it’s not raised on chemicals, slaughtered in a factory and shipped to Safeway in plastic wrap.

Add to it, the local deer population that is so overrunning the Capitol , Georgetown retailers, suburban roads, Montgomery County wants to put does on the “the pill”.

Now, make no mistake, I have no desire to save a dying tradition. There will be no high-powered rifles, no morning meet-up at the gun club, not even a pick-up truck.

I want to hunt deer differently. With bow and arrow, spear, or even a few friends and a cliff, I’ll take it old school and back to basics. Make hunting a team sport, a tough sport, and real victory when you kill.

That’s how I would hunt Odocoileus virginianus, with respect, determination, and a much higher failure rate than good-ole boys with shotguns and M-16’s. I would also want to hunt in Rock Creek Park. Make it local – both in the kill and in the meal.

Anyone else interested?

3 Comments so far

  1. John (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:39 pm

    The Park Police might object:


    (b) (1) Hunting is not permitted on any park property.

    (b) (3) Trapping is not permitted on any park property.

    (d) Transporting of lawfully taken wildlife through the park is not permitted.


    A permit is required to possess, carry or use a weapon, trap or net. The superintendent will only issue a permit to use, carry or possess a weapon, trap, or net under the following circumstances:

    (1) When necessary to support approved/permitted research activities.
    (2) For employees, agents or cooperating officials for official duty.
    (3) Archery target practice prohibited.

    Though it is true that Rock Creek Park has a major deer overpopulation problem. It is killing the native understory and reducing the park’s usefulness as a bird migration stop.

  2. John (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:41 pm

    I meant to italicize that entire quote from the RCP page. My comment starts at “Though it is true…”

  3. sa-ra (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:57 pm

    shocked. dropped dead w/t arrow.

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