Deer Hunter: I Wanna Be One Too

I want to hunt deer. I want to get all camouflage early in the morning and hunt Bambi and his parents. I want to strike down another living being with death I unleash at my will.

Regular readers may be shocked that I, the most anti-gun guy, would want to kill. But I do. I want to hunt my own meat. Kill my dinner. And have fresh venison in my freezer.

Why? How could an ex-vegetarian, ex-vegan, even, have such a change of heart? I ask you how any self-respecting omnivore cannot want to dine on her own rewards? At least you have control over your meal – it’s not raised on chemicals, slaughtered in a factory and shipped to Safeway in plastic wrap.

Add to it, the local deer population that is so overrunning the Capitol , Georgetown retailers, suburban roads, Montgomery County wants to put does on the “the pill”.

Now, make no mistake, I have no desire to save a dying tradition. There will be no high-powered rifles, no morning meet-up at the gun club, not even a pick-up truck.

I want to hunt deer differently. With bow and arrow, spear, or even a few friends and a cliff, I’ll take it old school and back to basics. Make hunting a team sport, a tough sport, and real victory when you kill.

That’s how I would hunt Odocoileus virginianus, with respect, determination, and a much higher failure rate than good-ole boys with shotguns and M-16’s. I would also want to hunt in Rock Creek Park. Make it local – both in the kill and in the meal.

Anyone else interested?

3 Comments so far

  1. John (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:39 pm

    The Park Police might object:

    36 CFR §2.2 – WILDLIFE PROTECTION

    (b) (1) Hunting is not permitted on any park property.

    (b) (3) Trapping is not permitted on any park property.

    (d) Transporting of lawfully taken wildlife through the park is not permitted.

    36 CFR §2.4 – WEAPONS, TRAPS, AND NETS

    A permit is required to possess, carry or use a weapon, trap or net. The superintendent will only issue a permit to use, carry or possess a weapon, trap, or net under the following circumstances:

    (1) When necessary to support approved/permitted research activities.
    (2) For employees, agents or cooperating officials for official duty.
    (3) Archery target practice prohibited.

    Though it is true that Rock Creek Park has a major deer overpopulation problem. It is killing the native understory and reducing the park’s usefulness as a bird migration stop.


  2. John (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:41 pm

    I meant to italicize that entire quote from the RCP page. My comment starts at “Though it is true…”


  3. sa-ra (unregistered) on February 11th, 2007 @ 10:57 pm

    shocked. dropped dead w/t arrow.
    converting-to-vegan-wont-helpme-now-turist.



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