With all the foofaraw attached to the Virginia Senate Race, I didn’t think it could get weirder. Then It Did (thanks Wonkette!). Senator Allen’s campaign brought up Jim Webb’s written fiction novel. Which, of course, drove Slate to drudge up all the pornographic writings of previous and current politicians. The best part? It’s a Quiz! Match the written samples with the politician that crafted them. Featured are Ken Starr, William Cohen, Barbara Boxer and William Buckley. Below the cut are some of the choicest samples. Who knew our leadership had such dirty minds!
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As promised, my last few notable shots or things that amused me at the marathon. Leading with the strongest entry is the Big Giant Hat. How can you go wrong? More after the jump.
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Just in time for Halloween comes the internet debut of the 90’s horror movie classic, Tarpinhead!

Tarpinhead is a short film some friends and I made in the summer of 1999. Our movie features an all DC cast (including Metroblogs’ own Jenn Larsen) and made its theatrical debut back in 2001 at the now definct Visions Theater.

I wrote Tarpinhead (in about an hour), co-directed it, and play two parts in it.

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube – our tale of inter-species romance, shrine desecration, and bloody carnage – lives on!

View segment 1 and segment 2 if you dare!!

[Running time is about 16 minutes. Content is work-safe except for some bad language]

With just 8 days left until the Midterm Election of 2006, most of those who are up for reelection have log since abandoned the District for their home turf, where they’re stumping and fundraising and speaking and putting up attack and defense ads on television. It’s likely that several incumbents might find themselves short of a seat when the returns are all in.

Tell me, gang, who will you miss when they’re gone? Who won’t you miss at all?

I know I won’t miss Mark Foley, and I’m fairly sure the dearly departed Tom Delay won’t be on my “man, I wish he was here!” tally, and as dire as Santorum’s race looks, I don’t think I’ll miss him much, either. I’d be interested to see how Michael Steele would do in the Senate, and of course, there’s always the battle royale between sexist Jim Webb and racist George Allen…

Tell us your faves and your passes. Who you do you want in? Who do you want out?

Photo by DC Metroblogger

I don’t even know where to begin.

Maybe by questioning the thought pattern that thinks those boots work with that skirt.

Maybe by wondering about the physical discomfort of riding a bicycle in a short skirt on a cold morning.

Or maybe by calculating the inherent danger of a spiked boots/short skirt combo on a bike in morning commute traffic.

Regardless, I’m calling the fashion police, if only to save her from herself.

I’d actually intended to just do a roundup of the interesting outfits and shirts I’d seen and have just one more marathon post, but I got diverted by this woman: Jaimee Joroff. Funny shirts are one thing, flags – for all their additional drag – are another. But firefighter gear? That’s some serious shit, even if she did concede to wear sneaks rather than boots. So I punched her number up in the MCM website and googled her name.

Un-freaking-believable.

Near the top of the list of results was this 2004 MD press release. Ms Joroff is apparently wearing EMS gear because she is an EMS technician. An EMT who finished training despite being in an arm cast. A year after graduation she participated in a challenge that involved climbing seventy-five flights of stairs. In full protective gear, tank included. I don’t know if any of you have ever SCUBA dove, but I have enough trouble lumbering my ass over to the edge of the boat and letting gravity do the rest of the work to get into the water. Even if the tank is one-fifth the weight… I don’t think I’m making 75 flights if you strapped helium balloons to me, much less a metal air tank.

One of the other Google results was about the 2005 winner of the Harpist of the Day award given out at the Richmond Highland Games and Celtic Festival. No no, it’s not Ms Joroff…. she was the 2004 winner. That year’s event was the 23rd and 24th of October. The week before she was running the marathon to raise money for the Burn Foundation’s Summer Burn Camp for Children, according to the above-linked MD press release.

All the other results are similarly race results and/or information on monies raised for charity. If she’s not working hard to save lives at work she’s doing it to save lives indirectly, though she might take some time off to make money for charity with her harp playing.

Here’s to you, Ms Joroff. I appreciate that you’re out there working to help us all and it tickles me to know that someday I might have my life saved by an award-winning harpist marathon runner with a heart of gold. Thanks for making the world a better place in what seems like your every waking moment.

So there I was on Saturday night sitting in the passenger seat of the car waiting for my friends to get back from Yum’s with some dumplings. It’s about 2:30 and I’m drunk and I’m wearing a blood spattered t-shirt as part of my costume for the party I was at just prior.

And then comes a walking by two drunk guys and they are fighting each other. But then they aren’t. Then they are. I don’t know what their deal was, but they were making it down the street beating on each other until they saw the sweet corvette parked across from my car.

Then they start to beat the shit out of the corvette. One guy trying to kick out the headlights and the other trying to smash in the side window with his shoulder. And for some reason this annoys me very much.

So I lean over and honk my horn and startle them both out of their skins. Then one of them runs across the street and starts kicking my car. So I open my door and step out in all my 6′4″, blood-splattered glory. And this drunk guy takes a swing at me while at the same time his friend starts running down the street in fear.

So there I was on Saturday night, covered in gore, beating the snot out of this car-wrecking moron.

After a few rounds I kind of threw him down the street to give him an escape route which he smartly took advantage of running off at full tilt. In the spirit of the holiday I felt like I should have moaned “Brains…brains…” as the jack-ass beat street into the night, instead I settled for scarfing on the Yum’s dumplings which had freshly arrived.

Please join me in congratulating Katy, seen here at mile 22, who would go on to complete her fifth Marine Corps marathon in a row. Unlike new addict Kristen, Katy seems to like to live in a state of perpetual denial. Today was the fifth time she told us all, post-marathon, “this is the last one.” It was only the fourth time, however, that she said “I really mean it this time.”

We’ll see which side of the line she’s standing on next year. I know where my bet is.

Jane Fernandes is done at Gallaudet after the Board of Trustees voted to terminate her appointment as the president of the University, resulting in a jubilant scene on Florida Avenue where the protestors not only burned Fernandes in effigy, but exulted in their triumph after 27 days of demonstrations.

They’re not out of the woods, yet. There have been no promises of a blanket amnesty for protestors, and they’ve promised to continue to protest until they are granted amnesty from reprisals from the administration.

Please join me in congratulating Kristen, seen here at mile 22, who would go on to complete her first marathon with a time of 04:27:54. The addiction seems to have set in – a few hours after finishing she was indicating to us her desire to do it again and finish in under 4:00.

Congrats Ms K. I don’t understand what possesses someone to do the marathon but I admire the devotion to setting and preparing for a goal that it displays.