Melanie Boyer by Patrick King

Are you still hot and bothered from the first Melanie Boyer interview? Did you agree with the Washington City Paper’s About Last Night.. columnist’s quote:

I write about sex, but I also write about love, because I would be doing the human race a great disservice if all I did was write about sex and called that the extent of love.

Or better yet, did you catch the twist that she left for the Peace Corps after saying “no” to a marriage proposal? While she wins kudos in my book for being that commitment adverse, she’ll win points in your book with part two of the Melanie Boyer interview.

In this steamy follow-up, we’ll start before the jump with this warm-up question:

Wayan: How many men hit on you even more after they find out your are a dating/sex columnist? How many shy away. Percentages are fine, absolute numbers better.

Melanie: My educated guess is that 70 percent run for their lives and 30 percent kick it into hyper-drive. The latter are usually voyeurs to some degree, and are begging to see their name in an entry. The former usually don’t stick around long enough to give me their names, let alone their reasons for running.

Now that’s interesting! So how has writing for the City Paper impacted dating life?

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I went to the launch of the DC Social Media Club last night. I went with a little bit of trepidation, because first of all, “social media” isn’t that descriptive or useful a term, and yet I somehow know what it’s supposed to be describing. Secondly, every single event I’ve ever gone to that’s been like this has devolved into Blogging 101- some n00b asks what a trackback is, or makes some ridiculously facile observation about company blogs linking to company press releases and then pauses for dramatic effect, or whatever. Suffice it to say, I haven’t been impressed and had been trying to find/start a better group for some time. Clearly, I didn’t have the juice to get it started, but Chris Heuer does.

It was an interesting time- lots of interesting PR and marketing people who know they have bad reputations asking themselves why they have bad reputations, and how they can get back to doing things in such a way that engages people rather than alienating them, and exactly what does that kind of approach look like, blah blah. Finally, someone asking the questions that I want to talk about now that I’ve already figured out what “this podcasting thing” is.

Anyway, it was a totally good time if you’re a big web nerd like me, so I recommend that you check it out. With a little work, there will be another event in the not too distant future.

Seen between my garage and my office this morning:

- A guy in a REALLY impressive parrot costume. Like, as if the parrot were a mascot for something. I thought it was a promotion for something until I remembered what day it was.

- An older lady (or man, hard to tell) in a very normal looking red sweater and pair of khaki pants… and a long, straight, lavender fright wig.

(Sorry, no photos, can’t upload from the office.)

But I love Halloween.

If you are going to fill my voicemail with campaign spam, please calibrate your telephone software to learn what county I live in. I don’t think telling an Arlington resident where to vote in Fairfax County really helps your cause.

Melanie Boyer by Patrick King

It was a hot and sweaty night this summer when I met Melanie Boyer, the Washington City Paper’s About Last Night.. columnist. Hoping to add her to the supermodel harem, I did my best drunk Wayan moves – divining her undergarments down to type and model of manufacture.

Unimpressed, I was slighted for a hot vet, but we kept in touch none the less, which is fortuitous for all. After scooting out from underneath a heap of work we can once again concentrate on a favorite subject: sex.

Better yet, we’ve done a two-part interview series all about it. Best of all, we used porn judo and both posts are relatively safe for work!

Now, if you would be so kind as to join us after the jump, you’ll learn the amazing answer to tantalizing questions like:

Straight or curved? Cut or uncut? Trimmed or wild? Length or girth? What matters most? Or does it matter at all?

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Sorry. I’m easily amused and buzzing off Fun Size Kit Kats. What goofy decorations did you put up? Or are you one of those awful Halloween-haters?

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Check out the post-plywood chrysalis on the lawn of the Kazakhstan Embassy to the United States and Canda.

While its no Borat, the monument to Kazakh independence dedicated by Nursultan Nazarbayev makes me wonder.

How can Kazakhstan celebrate independence with a hunter on a griffin? Neither founded the modern Kazakh state.

A more appropriate statue would incorporate Stalin, the delineator of the Kazakh republic within the Soviet Union, and Yeltsin or Gorbachev, both of which can claim credit for Soviet devolution.

photo courtesy of Freak House DC

No, not (insert lame-o political joke here), I mean the Cherry Red-Lobsterboy collaboration on a haunted house! One of the saddest days of my life in DC was when Ian announced that Cherry Red Productions would stop doing regular shows in the DC area. No more shows like Spamlet or Worm Girl? Who will bring us the next Poona the Fuckdog and Other Plays for Children? Say it ain’t so! Alas, it was.

However.

You can’t keep a good man down bent mind straight and so we have Freak House, a guided tour through seven rooms of horror and disgust. I’m not sure about the horror but if there’s one thing that Cherry Red always seemed able to get right it was disgust. Really. I expect there’ll be humor there as well, though sadly I will be unable to report back on this – I have to get on a plane tomorrow and will miss the last opportunity to go. I’d love for someone to go and report back, though. Any takers?

Did the Redskins play yesterday? Judging from their web site I don’t think they did but other than that I would have no clue. You see, I am not a Redskins fan. Or a football fan or a baseball fan. I think sports are a nice diversion, even fun to play and watch but to me that’s all it is – a diversion, not anything important or even terribly interesting.

This attitude has gotten me some strange looks down here when I say, “No, I didn’t watch the game,” or, “I thought the World Series happened weeks ago.” This all much better than the trouble I used to get into during my brief stay in Massachusetts when I admitted not caring any more about the Red Sox than the Yankees or not being interested in the Patriots and their latest draft choice. This is a fighting issue up there. Down here it’s just cause for disapproving looks.

Who cares? I always thought. More than that, I have to wonder what it means to support the home team. Is my geography the ultimate arbiter of which teams I should support? If so, doesn’t that remove the fundamental and necessary emotional component of what loyalty should really mean? To me it’s all just plain silly and meaningless.

When you get down to it, all sports are equal in their ability to help us drink beer together and talk about spirals, running games, scores and statistics. And beer while cheering for the Redskins is just as intoxicating as beer while cheering for the Cowboys.

Say you in the Blue/Orange Line Metrorail tunnel under the Potomac and the lights go out on the rail car as it stops. Not a sound you can hear, not a sight you can see. Just as people start to freak, cell phones showing panic, you see a light and hear an authoritative voice.

A stock MEC-4

It’s WMATA to the rescue on a MEC-4!

Or so is the scenario that the Metro Transit Police Department (MTPD) is prepping for with the purchase of a 4 Man Motorised Electric Rail Cart.

Dropping $20K of Homeland Security money on the electric cart, MTPD will use it get to an emergency on Metrorial and safely transport people who are unable to walk out of the area.

Interestingly, WMATA got a deal on the cart – it’s usually $40K, if they would sell show it to other Transit Authorities. Or maybe that’s not such a deal. A WTOP commenter says:

Sounds great until you find out these type of vehicles aren’t allowed on the rail system. Why? They can’t be seen by Central Control and therefore pose a risk to everyone’s safety. Think I’m wrong? Ask how much money has been spent on Rerail vehicles and how many times they’ve been allowed to fulfill their true potential.

What do you think? Rather be on the MEC-4 sled or walking the tracks back to Foggy Bottom?