With all the foofaraw attached to the Virginia Senate Race, I didn’t think it could get weirder. Then It Did (thanks Wonkette!). Senator Allen’s campaign brought up Jim Webb’s written fiction novel. Which, of course, drove Slate to drudge up all the pornographic writings of previous and current politicians. The best part? It’s a Quiz! Match the written samples with the politician that crafted them. Featured are Ken Starr, William Cohen, Barbara Boxer and William Buckley. Below the cut are some of the choicest samples. Who knew our leadership had such dirty minds!

“She romped on top of Simolzak’s huge frame, straddling him with her hands on his chest, her back arched and her breasts flailing wildly in the air. Her back was to him and her long hair swung from side to side as if accentuating the abandonment of her screams.”

“The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve crossing a dark cathedral stage–no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were.”

“With devastating slowness, his hand cupped her completely before he slowly slid a finger into her warmth. She was burning up. Heat sliced through her. Emily gave herself up to the sweet torment of his hand as her hips rocked against his touch. Clutching his shoulders, her mouth blindly sought his. Desperate for release, she tightened her grip. ‘Ross,’ she managed, feeling as though she were spinning out of control.”

Pervs. Thanks Slate.