I know one White House staffer who is gay and he won’t go to any public get-togethers with his partner of eight years. Affirming, isn’t it.
Another aid has worked in the Bush family administration for years and has solved the issue be deciding he’ll never have a partner so it won’t be an issue for his job. There is a lot of “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t acknowledge, don’t fit a stereotype, don’t “do” gay so you can authentically dodge the label gay, and more don’t, don’t, don’t.” Silence. Acquiescence.

Sometimes as gay men we are so acclimated to discrimination, having never seen anything but a certain climate of invisibility, our auto-tolerance for disregard is high. Sometimes we waffle between self-shame and relegated self-esteem. Sometimes our straight counterparts fail to realize their silence is just as potent as our own and lurking in the distance is just as much culpability as vocal participation.

All of this is changing, so I seem to witness on occasion…and then I go back to Oklahoma and flip through AM radio stations for a dose of Bible-belt “reality.”

What gets me about many “orientational conservatives” is their contradictions. Many believe the Bible, but not the part that tells them to stone queers. They believe the part about “the pursuit of happiness,” as long as we don’t get married or actually have sex with those whom we love. For me it is their hypocrisy that burns, not all their convictions. Beliefs we can explore and debate, but treachery guts the potential in all relationships.

I only ask how gays can serve in such an anti-gay adminstration. I wouldn’t, and I am not even gay.