the hidden drug ring

The next time you are driving down King Street in Old Town, keep an eye out for the two wig stores along the way to the river. You can’t miss them – they are almost right next to each other. I snapped a picture of one as I was on my way to lunch the other day.


I’ve lived in this area my entire life – and have spent a great deal of time working in Old Town, Alexandria. In this entire time – I have never seen ANYONE going in or leaving these stores. How is it that these stores can afford to stay in business – let alone setup and maintain shop in such prime real estate.

I actually called one when I was in college. I was in search of some afro wigs to complement a Jackson Five costume set my fraternity brothers and I were planning to wear in a talent show (Mason Greek Week). I was rebuffed by whomever answered the phone. “We only sell wigs for serious people.”

Well, that may be… but I still think these places are a front for an underground drug ring…

12 Comments so far

  1. ellie (unregistered) on September 6th, 2006 @ 11:24 pm

    That’s offensive. My mother is a chemo patient who gets wigs at one of those stores.

  2. Mik (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 8:52 am

    You’d think they’d sell a wig to anyone.

  3. smouiekablooie (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 10:18 am

    So when I posted this I knew that there was bound to be at least one person who told me I was offending a chemo patient. Regardless of whether or not there were people in my family who needed chemo and had to buy wigs (and there were) – the observation I’m making here is that there are places in this area that appear to do no business, but still manage to stick around.

    I’m actually glad to hear that someone shops at one of these stores. Now I don’t have to set up a neighborhood watch stakeout and drug sting :-)

    Ellie, I truly hope your mother gets better. But almost every person with cancer I know/knew loved to laugh about the challenges they faced. So why not forward this post to your mom and have her write her own comment about whether or not it’s in good taste…assuming that you aren’t just writing she has cancer to make your point.

  4. Don (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 11:56 am

    Glad to see racism, sexism, age discrimination, world hunger, global warming, thrill killing, genocide and all those other problems have been cleared up so that we can get offended over observing that a store seems to have no business traffic.

  5. Robis (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 12:09 pm

    Why is it offensive to suggest that a store one frequents might be a front for drugs?

  6. wayan (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 12:39 pm

    Don, I am offended that you left off the Global Fight Against Terrorism from your list, we all must be vigilant and like the voice in my head says: report suspicious activities to the proper authorities.

    Thank you for this post, Smouie. If you see anyone suspicious going into this store, ie: they have a beard, so they’re not chemo patients and/or they are carrying a water bottle, be sure to alert the FBI!

  7. Tiff (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 12:49 pm

    Now Don, you know perfectly well that some people have no other joy in their lives than to sit around and find things to be offended about. The Internet has been an incalculable blessing to these unfortunate souls. How very insensitive to mock their plight.


  8. misschatter (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 2:12 pm

    Actually, I love wigs and have been in this store (they didn’t carry the color I was looking for). They definitely don’t appear to be a drug ring! There were a couple older ladies in there shopping, and they had a large selection of AA women’s wigs, so I would guess they probably do a pretty good business – although, you’re right – it hardly ever looks like anyone goes in.

  9. Stacey (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 3:24 pm

    I worked in Old Town for about three years and DID see a few people go in and out of the almost ajoined wig stores – usually people wearing wigs that I’m assuming were having to live through chemo and cancer – which is totally sad but I’m glad there’s a place in the near location where they can buy them.

    That being said it is either a VERY BELIEVED urband Old Town legend or it’s true – but almost everyone in and around Old Town “knows” that this is a drug and prostitute front.

    I’d like to know if it’s actually true or not – how can we find out?

  10. GS UK (unregistered) on September 17th, 2006 @ 1:17 pm

    I noticed these two shops when I visited the colonies last year. Unfortunately my wife and I saw them at night while looking for somewhere to eat so they were shut. The window displays were circa 1960, one of the shops showing a wig described as the latest fashion Diana Ross look! On returning to the UK we extensively researched this subject to find there are only three places in the world where the Diana Ross look is the latest fashion. They are Azerbaijan, Topeka Kansas, and Swindon in Wiltshire. I can’t believe people from these regions would travel all that way for wigs.

    These shops are clearly spy shops and a front for your Secret Service. I did think if there were a steady stream of personnel travelling to and from the Pentagon it would be a giveaway. Giving it more thought though, MI5 recruit from Oxford and Cambridge and are 100% gay. If your lot are the same, then that won’t prove anything. The reason the shops are close together is because a vast underground bunker connects them. The reason both shops are the same is because your secret service got a bulk discount deal on the wigs so it made sense to have both the shops the same. In the 70’s, near where I worked in Stanmore, there was an American book distributor. Normally personnel involved with books look geeky. These guys worked out, had identical dark suits and all had dark sunglasses. (In England). My secretary, Janet, said it was a front for the CIA. I told her she was an idiot, the CIA only dress like that in films. 24 hours after the Watergate scandal broke, the operation closed down and was gone. (Janet was always right.) I guess now their wig cover has been broken these shops will also close down. The fun is going to be finding where they open up next.

    I am coming back over again in December, (if your immigration let me in), so I shall report if I find their new front. (I also think you have another spy shop in Mount Vemon Avenue. It is a very strange, tiny tropical plant shop that no one visits. Just love the USA; we have nothing weird over here in Britain. (Not counting Wales or Cornwall but that’s more to do with Tree worshiping and Pixies, and then you are talking seriously weird.) We don’t let weird people into Britain, but send them to our own Guantanamo, we call it France.

  11. smouie kablooie (unregistered) on September 18th, 2006 @ 12:56 pm

    I agree with GS UK that it is unlikely people will travel all the way from Azerbaijan, Topeka Kansas, and Swindon in Wiltshire to obtain wigs. The internet really has done wonders for commerce hasn’t it? However, I disagree with them on several points:

    “Giving it more thought though, MI5 recruit from Oxford and Cambridge and are 100% gay. If your lot are the same, then that won’t prove anything.”

    Having studied at Oxford, I would contend that the balance of straight and gay students was consistent with (inter)national averages. Also – it seems like GS UK is trying to slander both these fine educational institutions and our respective special services by saying they are “gay.” I like to think that our readers are beyond using this word as a description for something they dislike. I hope this isn’t the case here…

    “Just love the USA; we have nothing weird over here in Britain. (Not counting Wales or Cornwall but that’s more to do with Tree worshiping and Pixies, and then you are talking seriously weird.) We don’t let weird people into Britain, but send them to our own Guantanamo, we call it France.

    I think the fine people who produce and read The Sun Newspaper would disagree nothing weird happens… and there are certainly some odd British expatriates that I’ve met here in the States – Mik not included. My personal opinion is more of them can be found in Thailand than France. I’d be interested in Wayan’s perspective on that…

    GS UK good luck with immigration! Perhaps we shall hear more about your investigations.


  12. GS UK (unregistered) on September 19th, 2006 @ 10:54 am

    There is obviously a misunderstanding. I am not singling out your secret service in particular. My family are Scottish and as such we are equal opportunity insulters. It’s in based on our uncodified law Corpus Juris Civilis. This is a fundamental work in jurisprudence issued from 529 to 534 by order of Justinian I, Byzantine Emperor. (This is all similar to your Bill of Rights but with less about baring arms and more about eating haggis.)
    Anyway, the reason for my writing to you again is my wife Denise has just read what I said and is appalled and has told me to apologise. Denise says I have taken this to a new level. She has got used to me upsetting the neighbourhood and then having to move every eighteen months, but now she said insulting a whole country is a step too far.
    Denise says I have totally mislead you with what I said, and my so called research is based on inaccurate data and as such, invalid.
    Denise says it wasn’t the Diana Ross look but actually Rachel Welsh. She says only people from Topeka would want to look like that, and they could make the journey.

    On the MI5 gay thing, I am sure the demographics in Oxford and Cambridge are in line with the norm. It is the selection criteria our not so Secret Service use. (Burgess, Maclean, Philby.)

    If the operation doesn’t shut down in the next few days I have another theory. Nazis.

    When I visit Germany I always look in the phone book to see how many Hitler’s there are. After years of doing this I have never found one.

    Last week I found out why. All of Adolf’s immediate family after the war moved to the USA and took assumed names. Keep a look out and tell me if a lot of hairy legged girls are frequenting the establishments. (They will have hairy armpits as well but you never find that out until you have reached the point of no return. Always a scary moment.) Don’t know why their women are hirsute, could be a form of contraception or a way of storing carbon dioxide to counteract global warming. If you know I would be pleased to here from you.

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