A flippin’ and a floppin’
I’m sure that if you’re female, and it’s summertime, you received the “Open Toed Shoe Pledge” email urging you to take the time to get a pedicure, wear flip flops that actually fit and shave those hairy big toes. As a member of the “flip-flop hood”, I revel in this time of year, okay, I admit it – I actually do wear flip-flops year round, and once traipsed through the snowy streets of Boston wearing flip-flops for an entire winter. I’m a disgrace to members of the “flip-flop hood” everywhere. I’d let my skanky runner’s toes loose in flip-flops, not caring that my black toenails blatantly shone through the lilac nail varnish I’d use in an attempt to cover up my faux pas.
My most recent offense against all things “flip-flop hood” involves running around Loop Road in Key West, you got it, wearing flip-flops. Why was I overcome by the insane notion to try this? Because I’m dumb. No, really! What other reasoning do I have for running around in flip-flops, wearing SPF4 tanning oil, that’s right, tanning oil at noon on a Saturday in Key West. None. I have no excuse. It was a dumb move, and before you ask, I’m a brunette thankyouverymuch.
The reason for my guilt-induced confession (yes, I am Catholic, why do you ask?) is due to a spot heard on WTOP Radio this morning, wherein it is advised by podiatrist Greg Cohen at Long Island College Hospital to wear a more stable shoe when walking distances greater than half a mile. Obviously we all know that flip-flops are not constructed to be worn when running, or walking great distances, i.e. from Rosslyn Metro to Wisconsin Avenue.
Source: WTOP Radio – related article [*]
Are you pursuaded to give up fashion over function? Will you too cease wearing your flimsy-soled flip-flips for a more stable walking kind? I thought not, me either. My feet however, are in fine form, tooties polished and heels shaved.
So is this podiatrist trying to tell us that humans and shoes have evolved in symbiotic fashion? What did the first homo erectus wear, Chuck Taylors? I can see the need for stability and support when engaging some activities (ice skating comes to mind), but people have been running and, yes, hiking barefoot for millenia, and still do in much of the world. In West Africa, “jelly” sandals seem to be the preferred footwear for street soccer, and when I trekked in Nepal (wearing good, sensible, hiking boots), our porters–the ones doing all the work–would race ahead of us in their flip-flops, stop and smoke cigarettes, and then race ahead again when we caught up. All this at about 8,000 feet, mind you…ever since, I have hiked in sandals–much better for stream crossings, etc.
Who do I talk to in order to get a “no capri pants pledge” going? Why is it acceptable for women to wear clothing deliberately designed to make them look like they can’t figure out how tall they are, or perhaps are going crawdad catching?
When you find out, let me know – as a female who is a quarter of an inch shy of six feet, I abhor capri pants.
Short girls hate capris too – because even if they looked good on us *which they don’t*, I mean who needs to look stumpier, right? – all the capris for sale out there look like regular pants that are juuuust a little bit too short on us.