“Have a Super Saturnalia!”

Saturday we stormed Tysons Mall!

The last shopping weekend before Christmas, and though my family presents are finished (hurrah for online shopping!), my husband’s are not. “Bah humbug, I hate Christmas!” he moaned, but alas, it must be done. So off to Tysons we went, definitely naive and unprepared for the MOB SCENE that greeted us.

The parking lot was a disaster – thirty minutes minimum to park – but the real horror awaited us inside. People people people streaming everywhere, most meandering with no sense of purpose, their multiple bags blocking the way. Folks, you need a game plan to survive! We headed up to the food court for some necessary fortification, spread the map out, and proceeded to circle stores and plan our attack. I think we would’ve gone postal otherwise…

Special kudos to the “wrapping runners” at L.L. Bean, who ran up and down the enormous line grabbing clothes, power-wrapping them, and bringing them back just in time for ringing up.

Any sign of the “Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas” controversy? Fabricated by the media, of course, like all other so-called fearmongering controversies of the day. Plenty of Christmas to go around. In fact, if I were Jewish I would start a “What about Hannukah?” campaign. There was a distinct lack of it at the mall. Anyway, we settled on using my favorite greeting, “Have a Super Saturnalia!” Humor was the only way to maintain our frazzled sanity.

Five hours later we were vanquished, most gifts achieved, but still some to go.

The moral of the story? Save your shopping for online or local merchants, skip the mall. Unless you go weeks and weeks beforehand!

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