I love security-crazed DC. Not only do we have a limited access office building, we have special “fobs” to get into our offices. Fobs that not even the security guards have. Usually this would not be a problem, but when you leave your keys at work, it becomes a serious issue.

Add to it that I live in a limited-access building, where I have to wait for my housemate to return from NYC on the Chinatown bus before I can go home and I wind up at Wonderland Ballroom till midnight. Here I can find a second home. With an old-school jukebox, not some Internet-enabled modernity, I know I’ll hear Hendrix in a night. I’ll also see Buy a Vowel in her glory, and with the free WiFi, have an IM with my beer. Nice.

Best yet, right now it

I was just in Firehook Bakery for my usual afternoon delight, when I overheard this exchange between a British tourist and the barrista:

Brit: “Could I get a cuppa tea?”
Barrista: “You want a cup of green tea?”
Brit: “No, no, regular tea. Tea.
(Pauses…)
Don’t you have just an ordinary cup of tea?”
Barrista: “You mean, not flavored? We have lots of flavors.”
Brit: “Just a cup of tea. Ordinary. Regular.”
(She pauses again, squirming in dismay at the inability to communicate her fervent 3:30pm desire to get a nice cuppa)
Barrista: “How about black? We have black tea.”
Brit: “Yes, yes, that’s it. That’s what I mean. That’ll do.”

A bunch of protesters were arrested on Pennsylvania Avenue earlier today. Among them was Cindy Sheehan. The protestors sat on the sidewalk after marching on the pedestrian walkway on Penn. Ave. and were warned by the police that they were breaking the law by not moving. Sheehan was the first arrested, and while she was cuffed and led away, the other protestors chanted, “The whole world is watching.” Except, actually, the whole world was at work, because it’s Monday and we have things to do.

What’s this, you ask? A hundred thousand protesters in DC this weekend and nary a peep from the Metrobloggers?

Let me clue you in on a little secret. Protests are part of daily life here. Anyone who has lived in DC for more than a month has learned the critical lesson: Whether it’s that crazy guy with the bullhorn on Farragut Square or 100,000 people chanting on the Mall, it’s best to ignore protesters.

Don’t look at them, or they might try to hand you literature that you’re just going to have to find a trashcan to throw away. If you engage with them, they might want to come BACK. And that means more fucked up traffic, edgy cops, and people who are so consumed with love for the ANWR, or hatred for the World Bank, that they completely fail to notice that they’re supposed to “stand to the right.”

Protesters are essentially tourons with signs.

Push, shove, get outta my way!

Wow, never have I seen anything quite like a supermarket on a weekend in DC. You would think that Hurricane Rita was hitting DC by the way folks elbow and scramble for bread and eggs. Instead, it

3:40 AM – Just got home from the Wall of Sound Festival in Fredricksburg. Man, what a long day but oh what a treat!

We left at 11:30 AM for this – rocked out for a good 13 hours – highlights were DC’s own Skydivers, Plumeri, Alcian Blue, Stellarscope, Ceremony, and A Place To Bury Strangers. Those last four bands rocked that crappy little Fredricksburg dive like they were playing in a major sports arena – serious guitar muscle!

Especially local boys Ceremony’s cover of Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence!”

The whole experience was a totally worth-while music marathon. Let’s hope for one of these next year!

Ok, so you know how we’ve gone about as long in the Washington area without rain, as we have with a post from yours truly? Both changed last night, when scattered showers poured down on me as I was navigating my way through Fairfax County yesterday.

I’ll have you know that without fail, ever since I bought a car some five years ago, it has rained within 24 hours of my washing the exterior. I’m not kidding. The only exception has been the one time the precipitation held off for nearly 48 hours. So, since I had the stupid idea to wash my car on Thursday afternoon because I was just sick of seeing the dirt and grime, naturally the skies would spit at me for my troubles in the allotted time.

Yeah, I hope your lawns look good enough…. for me to poop on!

With 50,000 angry women (and the 50,000 college guys pretending to be angry so they can get laid) descending upon the city for protests this weekend, you might be thinking, so what exactly is DC going to do about it?

The answer is: close streets. But the good thing is, the Post is there with a handy map to tell you where to avoid in the city this weekend due to IMF/World Bank protests or the Anti-War march or the Book Festival, or the SegwayFest, or…

I realize that I had a pretty religious upbringing. And while my parents aren’t prudes by any stretch, I realize that there is a lot out there I haven’t really been, um, exposed to.

But what the HELL is up with nude housecleaning services? I mean, I suppose I understand the market demand for such a thing, but I can’t imagine wanting to work with ammonia or bleach while my sensitive bits are exposed, get it?

But if you’re looking for a job as a nude housekeeper, there is plenty of demand for it, even in Falls Church. So is this some widespread erotic-services trend that I just wasn’t aware of, or is this a wishful thinking trend made possible by Craigslist?

(Yes, there is actually one “service provider” advertising as well.)

Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad?”
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

This saturday features a confluence of fun things to do the likes of which Washington has never seen. Read on if you dare!