Thievery at 3200 16th Street

Dear Clothes Thief,

Let’s think about this for a minute, your thievery that is. You’re down in the communal washer/dryer room of The Majestic Apartments, sometime early this morning, say between 1-7am. You see a bank of dryers full of clean clothes and you decide to help yourself to some new finery. My finery.

Now I can understand you liking my gay percentage shirt, I did look hot in it, but do you know you’ll now be thought limp of wrist? And only more so when your friends learn you’re wearing my old underwear. Yes, they are boxer briefs, which the ladies like, and yet they’re also second hand. I wouldn’t even ask Hurricane Katrina refugees to wear my old underwear.

The towel though, the old ratty towel that Francis and I put on the bathroom floor to step on when we exit the shower. The one with mysterious stains from Francis’s odd use of the towel now and again. The towel with the frayed edge and lost luster that I sometime use to clean the bathroom with. How damn desperate are you to steal that!?!

9 Comments so far

  1. darpino (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 10:49 am

    5 bucks says all this stuff shows up under Wayan’s bed in a month!

  2. josh (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 11:32 am

    And your clothes were left in a communal dryer overnight for what reason again?

  3. wayan (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 12:43 pm

    Josh, some of us have lives.

  4. Creeped-Out (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 12:47 pm

    that sucks — that shirt looked great on you and the underwear is just creepy. At least you’ve helped a desperate person — that or you supplied a pervert – who knows.

    A friend of mine lived in an apartment in Arlington for a month but moved out after she got her delicates out of the washing machine to line dry and realized that all of her thongs had been slit vertically through the crotch exactly the same way in exactly the same places and put back in the washer for her to find.

    Being more than a little creeped out, she moved the next week. Then we heard on the news about this guy in Arlington who was assaulting women in basement laundry areas. Neat. Anyway — watch for your shirt on your neighbors — you never know!

  5. Tiff (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 12:48 pm

    If by “having a life” you mean “inconsiderate of other people who might like to use the dryers,” I suppose…

  6. wayan (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 12:54 pm

    Tiff, There are a bank of 8 dryers and when I went in last night, two were in use. This morning, three, total, including my one. Which is why I wash overnight, to be considerate.

    Its the folks who use the landry on a weekend afternoon and don’t move their stuff along that deserve the slacker-ire.

  7. Tiff (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 1:36 pm

    …And to be fair, the proper course of action when someone is taking up a dryer is to take their clothes out and PUT them somewhere in the room, preferably as clean a place as can be manager. Not to just steal their clothes.

  8. wayan (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 1:44 pm

    True, which is what’s done (by and to me) when needed. Um, moving, not stealing clothes that is. This guy, the thief, seemed to think about stealing one of my nice towels too, it was folded and sitting on the rest of my clothes in the dryer.

    Did he think twice about stealing it or just wanted me to know I was robbed?

  9. Good_laff (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 3:15 pm

    Maybe Wayan, you are a target of a woman scorned. All those lady loves who know you, know that they can exact satisfaction from taking your clothes – as you are a whore to fashion – re: “I am an American Consumer”.

    Or someone in need of styling – and since you style so well, why waste time, money and gas to buy style when it is so readily available in the basement laundry?

    Anyway, now that the fall is coming, you will be changing wardrobe anyway – that shirt was probably on its way out, like the Velveteen Rabbit.

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