Because from what I read on your blog, you don’t make a damn bit of sense. Really, you don’t. And your references to Yoda:

After all, as Yoda would say, “a weekly paragraph will not an exciting blog make.”

You should know my position on an issue, whether you agree with it or not. Blas

Today everyone at work is talking about the Capitol Lounge burning down, and they all seem to have a personal connection or story about their glory days there.

In my fifteen years or so of living here, I’ve actually never been inside the place. Nothing purposeful about that, really, it just never happened.

So I starting thinking about Capitol Hill in general, and how I just don’t ever go there anymore – to eat, to drink, whatever. Then I realized, with a bit of a shock, that all my memories of that area are negative, many quite painful.

So here are my Top Five Reasons I Don’t Go to The Hill:

1) I told my boss I was leaving the company at Cafe Berlin, and she started to cry into her lunchtime spritzer.

2) I started temping at Pardoe on Pennsylvania Avenue the same day a story broke about their possible racial discrimination, and had to handle all the violent incoming calls.

3) My then-boyfriend got into a brawl at Hawk & Dove on St. Patrick’s Day, and later was pulled over for DUI. Needless to say, he wasn’t Irish.

4) Being told “I love you” at Two Quail, and realizing I couldn’t say it back.

5) Totalling my car into a cab on Constitution.

Walter Reed Army Medical Center will be closing after the Base Realignment Committee voted to move its jobs outside the Beltway. Those 9,000 jobs will be sent to Quantico, Fort Belvoir, Fort Meade, and the Bethesda Naval Hospital. Though concerns were raised about the increased traffic due to 9,000 additional drivers, the base hospital was not saved. There’s still a chance to save the base in its entirety, but that would require President Bush to actually Veto something, which he’s yet to do in his 4+ years in office.

BRAC has yet to rule on the DoD jobs in Northern Virginia inside the Beltway.

So, what now? What do you do with a closed military hospital? My condo community (ugly website alert) was built out of old military housing and is some of the last “cheap” real estate in Arlington County. Could we do the same sort of thing, create a residential community in DC with that land?

Well, if the one DUI charge down in Florida wasn’t enough to scare Sidney Ponson straight, perhaps his new DUI charge in Maryland will do the trick. Of course, he might just beat up the judge like he did in Aruba.

Of course, I’d be drinking too if I hadn’t won a start since the middle of June, or pitched in a game since the beginning August, but I think I’d be smart enough to get someone to drive me home from the bar, instead of trying it myself. But hey, that’s just me, I guess.

Right now my housemate and I pony up something like $150 clams for Cable + Internet from Comcast. That’s much beer money in this Majestic household, maybe too much. I’ve seen the ads and I just checked, we can get RCN if we want. My question to you is simple: Will RCN connect me to something more than Comcast?

With Comcast we usually get flickering premium channels, and only get the digital music channels when there is a lunar occultation of Jupiter. Is RCN any better? While I like RCN’s current $60 Cable + Phone + Internet deal (Nationals games!) is it even worth the hassle of changing? Have you done it & are you happy?

An uber Geek needs to know…

Yes, its Party Planner Wayan, back again with another Thursday night line-up for your drinking pleasure.

First up we have a new entrant to the Thursday night Happy Hour scene, one that I’m not convinced is worth the $10-15 cover and mandatory RSVP, or list of intricate rules to escape either. Still, a Brazilian Sunset Samba Happy Hour and Dance Party, complete with a limbo contest, does sound like fun, and the Hilton Embassy Row Rooftop location cannot be beat. I only wish they could figure out better ad copy than the vaguely sleazy-sounding “social networking and connecting with beautiful and diverse International Professionals.”
Hilton Washington Embassy Row, 2015 Massachusetts Avenue, NW
6:30-10PM, $10 with RSVP/$13 without RSVP

Next you can show your support for the AIDS Marathon in Honolulu by Learning How to Hula for a Good Cause Happy Hour. There will be an extended happy hour, including drink specials, a free taco bar, a hula demonstration and great raffle prizes from local businesses. “Great” being relative when prizes are one pound bags of Starbucks coffee and free lei’s.
The Front Page, 4201 Wilson Blvd, Arlington,VA
5:00pm to 8:00pm, $10 minimum donation requested

Perennial party-makers Professionals in the City are having a 35 Plus Evening Cruise on the Potomac, which sounds “great” until you realize what that means. Namely, that you’ll be trapped on a boat in the Potomac for three hours, with either Diane from Accounting or Bill from IT Support stalking you from bow to stern with tales of their psycho ex or jail-bound kids. I suggest wearing clothes you can swim in as an emergency escape plan.
Boat leaves from Washington Harbor (in Georgetown) 3050 K Street, N.W
7:30 PM – 10:00 PM, $20.00 if purchased in advance

Last but not least, there is a new club in town, kstreet, which is opening tonight. If you know the special handshake, or subscribe to DC Collective or PartySlave, you can to get in on the opening night for free before Midnight. Everyone else will have to pay a $10 cover charge. Now if you are willing to guarenttee at least a $500, you can reserve a tale and have “faster table service through the use of handheld wireless technology.” I wonder if that means the servers have pagers, or are we talking some cool Google Hack?
kstreet, 1301 K Street, NW
10pm, $10 cover without email printout

The lemonade kid was on E. Columbia again, this time with three other smart kids. The weather was really nice today, though, so maybe they should’ve saved their lemonade for another day.

Also spotted on E. Columbia: an ambulance and four police cars outside a house. Wow. What has to happen for four police cars to show up?

Let’s say you have a friend coming in tomorrow night, a former college buddy of your husband’s, who left DC in the late 90′s for a jetsetting life of international intrigue.

Where would you take him for a night on the town?

Primary objective: Show him the many changes DC has undergone since his Barry-era college days.

Secondary objective: Prove DC has made some progress in it’s 21st century quest to be more stylish, hip, and funky.

Need ideas for drinks, dinner, and more drinks…
Where would you go to show off the city’s changing vibe?

Inspired by my recent trip to the Tivoli Theatre, I found a fantastic book on lost buildings in DC.

Ranging from architectural treasures to the more mundane, James M. Goode’s treatise “Capital Losses” features beautiful old photographs and well-researched text. Some of the stories in here are classics and it’s well-worth a look.

I spent most of my lunch hour leafing through it at the downtown Barnes & Nobles, sighing over some spectacular visions of DC Victorian grandeur.

Thanks to a careless cigarette tossed into a trashcan by a workman, we now have one less bar in DC. Guess which one… Capitol Lounge

Yes, the venerable SE watering hole is no more than a charred hulk now. Firefighters put out the blaze this morning after a passing jogger alerted them to smoke coming out of the building. No injuries were reported though widespread panic is rippling through the Capitol Hill intern community. There are rumors of donations of cheap booze and stale bar air for the interns by the Pour House and Hawk & Dove.