A $5 adventure for keys

Ugh! Its 5:46pm and the bitches ladies at the Union Station post office are yelling “We’re closed” at me like I’m a leper here to infect them. Actually I wish I were for now its hassle time. Hassle time I don’t have with ten minutes before my MARC train. Ten minutes I’d rather spend setting up my beer + lime + ice drink so nice.

This ten minutes will not be so nice. I need to send my house keys to a friend so she can feed my fish while I’m gone, and today was too busy at work to do it sooner.

Now I’ll head down to Tschiffely Pharmacy, where the slowest clerk in the world will sell me an envelope. Oh and I am serious about the slow part. Damn, I think I could actually see the wheels turn in her head as she made change for my purchase.

Then I’ll run back up the stairs to the post office to buy stamps. Faced with “sold out” at every option but one, I find myslef spending $4.50 on a book of ten 39 cent stamps. Yes, I know it should’ve been $3.90 but at this point I was too pissed to care.

The only, and I mean only, bright spot in this insanity will be the postman, who unlike the counter shite staff, takes my letter for delivery at 6:02pm, leaving me 3 short minutes to catch my train. Thanks Mr. Postman. Give those two ladies noogies for me, will ya. They deserve worse.

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