The trial of being a metrosexual are many and profound. Currently, some of my friends are taking turns proclaiming my “gay percentage.” To them, I oscillate between 35-75% gay depending on my actions. If I razz a passerby’s lack of style, they add a few points, and double it when I come up clueless on sports. When I have to be told who a “mo” is, I drop back down, and when I try to dance, I approach zero.

I know they’ll proclaim me 90% gay now, for I just got cruised, on Match.com! A cute “GAM” just emailed about how much he liked my Match.com profile and asked if I wanted to hook up. Wonderful. And I thought the “looking for: 24 to 36-year old woman” was enough to keep things straight (pun intended). Ya think DCDomme has the same problems?