Just Step Away From The Skittles and No one gets hurt

You read stuff like this, and your first thought is, “Dude. What the fuck?!”
Well, if you’re a pottymouth like me then that’s your first thought.
Then, your second thought is, “Damn, Gina, that coulda been me! I just popped an Altoid on the Metro on my way home last night because I reeked of cosmopolitans and sauteed onions!”
Well, if you’re a sauteed-onion-eating lush like me, then that’s your second thought.
But, here’s the thing: despite the obvious insanity of what happened to this woman, I sort of dig the maniacal enthusiasm with which the No Eating/No Drinking thing is enforced on Metro.
I think about how, every single time I go to New York and ride the subway I have to watch someone pooping on the train and I think, “Hell, yeah! Lock her Pay Day eatin’ ass up.”
I mean, I’m just thinkin’ that if you watch a twelve-year-old girl get detained for eating a french fry, suddenly, you have newfound bladder control, you know what I’m sayin’?
As for Willett’s position that she wasn’t “eating,” just “chewing,” uh…riiiight.

3 Comments so far

  1. Maggie (unregistered) on July 30th, 2004 @ 4:12 am

    I had a friend of mine get cited for eating part of a sandwich… just the last bite. I think he just got fined, thought, not tossed in the slammer.

  2. Jenn Brasler (unregistered) on July 30th, 2004 @ 5:12 am

    I heard on the news that the girl who was arrested for eating a French fry (ahem…sorry…”freedom fry”) was sentenced to do community service and undergo counseling. I wonder if they also made her write “I will not eat on a Metro platform” over and over on a blackboard.

  3. Xian (unregistered) on August 4th, 2004 @ 7:35 am

    It cracks me up when people ignore police requests for something as simple as ID and are surprised to wind up in jail or with a ticket!
    Something like this could have easily been talked out and she probably would have walked away with nothing.
    “Go find a real crime”? Oh, how cops love to hear that. That’s right up there with “I pay your salary!”

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